He petitions a demon who checks and say yeah it was a mistake but tough luck, you're here now. So the engineer makes the best of it, installing a light rail system…
Two teenage church-goers get married.
On their honeymoon night, the groom says “I would really like it if you sucked my dick.” His bride replies “Heavens no, I couldn’t do that, because you wouldn’t respect me in…
As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
"Last night was crazy." I replied. "What happened?" he asked. "Me, my mate Steve and my mate Trevor all got very drunk," I replied. "And we ended up going back to Trevor's…
A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
Where after another couple of drinks they proceed into the bedroom, and start banging in the missionary position. Half an hour, an hour, two hours… She's already had multiple orgasms, when suddenly…
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
But I refused, If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord Joke Poo: My dog tried to make me pick up his poop with a tiny,…
The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work—and hadn’t called in either. With a pressing issue on his hands, he decided to phone the…
A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
The man rolls his window down as the cop approaches, who says, "Sir, any reason you're driving so fast?" "Well," the guy says, "I've recently decided to try beekeeping, and I need…
Accent misjudged
So, I'm in a bar and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me. I say, "Cool accents, are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them yells, "It's…
The speeding biker
A Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, and he asks the biker his name. "Fred," he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred,"…
My boss told me to have a good day…
So I went home. Joke Poo: Title: My Dog Walker Told Me to Mark My Territory… My dog walker told me to mark my territory… So I peed on his leg. Okay,…