3 Drug dealers have been arrested and sentenced to prison but as they are all leaving the courtroom, the prison warden brings them to a classroom and talks to them.
"In a couple of minutes, there will be a dozen juveniles in this room who have been picked up on drug related crimes. If you can convince them to never touch drugs again. You can go free"
The drug dealers nod their head happy with this second chance.
The prison warden says "However, you can only use this for reference" And the prison warden goes to the board and draws a large circle and a small circle.
The Youths start coming into the classroom and the first drug dealer goes up to the board.
Points at the large circle. "This is your wallet before drugs" and points at the small circle "And this is your wallet after drugs"
None of the Juveniles even blink and the drug dealer is escorted to prison.
The second drug dealer steps forward and points at the large circle.
"This is your brain before drugs" Points at the small circle "And this is your brain after drugs"
One Juvenile stands up and leaves the room, muttering how he doesn't want to be an idiot.
The second drug dealer is happy and leaves the classroom, prison warden chases him and catches him. Reminding him that all of the juveniles need to leave not one.
As the prison warden heads back to the classroom, there is a rush of juveniles all leaving at once. Swearing that they will never touch drugs for as long as they breathe.
The prison warden is astonished and goes into the classroom to see the third drug dealer with a beaming smile.
The prison warden asks "What did you say to them?"
Drug dealer replies "I said if they carried on with drugs they would all go to prison and they agree"
The Prison warden says "But what about the circles?"
"Ah" Goes the drug dealer and points at the small circle "This is your arsehole before prison…."
Joke Poo: 3 Accountants and the IRS Auditor
Three accountants have been caught in a complex web of tax evasion and are brought before an IRS auditor. The auditor leads them to a small conference room.
“Gentlemen,” the auditor says, “I’m offering you a deal. A group of new IRS recruits is arriving in five minutes. If you can use this to deter them from ever taking a bribe, you go free.”
The accountants are relieved.
The auditor adds, “However, you can only use this as a visual aid.” He draws a large circle and a small circle on the whiteboard.
The first accountant steps up, points to the large circle, and says, “This is your bonus before accepting a bribe.” Then he points to the small circle, “And this is your bonus after.”
The new recruits look unimpressed. The accountant is led away to a maximum security accounting firm (prison).
The second accountant approaches. He points to the large circle. “This is your reputation before a bribe.” He points to the small circle. “This is your reputation after a bribe.”
One recruit sighs and says, “I just want to retire early.” The second accountant is also sent away.
As the third accountant prepares, he pulls out a marker, draws an even SMALLER circle inside the small circle, and then carefully labels the tiny circle:
“This,” he says with a flourish, “is the size of your golf handicap after the Senior Partner finds out you’ve been taking bribes and screwing up the golf outings.”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke and then inject some humor with some related trivia.
Joke Breakdown:
- Setup: Three drug dealers get a chance at freedom by convincing juvenile offenders to quit drugs, using a visual aid (circles).
- Failed Attempts: Two dealers use typical anti-drug arguments (wallet size, brain size) with minimal success.
- Punchline: The third dealer reinterprets the circles in a way that resonates with the juveniles’ fears of prison rape, effectively scaring them straight.
- Humor Source: The humor lies in the dark, cynical twist. The “scare them straight” tactic is traditionally presented as earnest and educational, but here, it’s rooted in a brutal reality of prison life. The unexpected, vulgar turn is what makes it funny.
Key Elements:
- Circles: Visual aid, representing before/after.
- Drug Dealers: Their history implies a certain cynicism or understanding of the juvenile offenders’ mindset.
- Juvenile Offenders: Supposedly susceptible to influence.
- Prison: Fear of prison, and specifically, fear of prison rape is used as a scare tactic.
Humorous Enrichment:
Now, let’s add some extra fun:
New Joke Idea:
Why did the prison librarian start organizing books by their spine width?
Because the new inmates kept asking which ones were good for… “research.”
Explanation:
This builds on the same dark humor of the original joke. The librarian’s innocent activity is reinterpreted through the lens of prison rape, creating a disturbing, yet funny, twist. The euphemism of “research” adds to the humor.
I hope this meets your criteria, if you need any further explanation please ask.