"How much is it please?" he asks the girl. "That's 500 for the handjob and 1500 for the blowjob." The man frowns a bit and says "You know i was told you were first class but…"
"I know" she smiles and pulls him over to a window. "You see that gas station over there? The small houses and the laundry? It's all mine, because of my handjobs." The man looks at her, impressed, and she leads him to another window.
"You see that supermarket and the parking lot? The motel and apartment complex? That's also mine, because of my blowjobs." The man nods, fully overwhelmed and hands her the 2000.
"But, one thing" he says "i'm really curious now. What does pussy cost?" She points to another window. "That airport over there, the hotels and these 40 storied…" "I got it!" the man got it, waving a hand and goes: "All yours because of your pussy!" Her face darkens a bit, she slightly shakes her head and says: "No, what i mean is, it would be mine. If i had a pussy."
Okay, here’s a new joke based on the original, titled “Joke Poo,” changing the core element of what service is being provided, and focusing instead on art critique and artistic skill:
Joke Poo
“72nd and Elm,” the art dealer was told, “best art critique you’ll ever get.” So he heads there.
“What are your rates?” he asks the artist. “It’s $50 for a general critique and $500 for a full artistic vision realignment.” The dealer raises an eyebrow and says, “I was told you were the best, but…”
“I know,” she smiles and leads him to a window. “See that gallery across the street? The one with the revolving exhibits and the opening night parties? That’s all mine, thanks to my general critiques. I can steer an artist in the right direction.” The dealer looks impressed, and she takes him to another window.
“You see that museum downtown? The one with the permanent collection and the endowment fund? That’s also mine, thanks to my full artistic vision realignments.” The dealer nods, completely taken aback, and hands her the $550.
“But one thing,” he says, “I’m really curious now. What does it cost to learn how to actually paint?”
She points to another window. “That entire art supply district over there, the warehouses full of canvases, paints, and brushes…”
“I got it!” the dealer exclaims, waving a hand. “All yours because you taught everyone how to paint!”
Her face darkens a bit, and she slightly shakes her head. “No, what I mean is, it would be mine. If I could actually paint.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then juice it up.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A man gets a recommendation for a specific location (“55 northern 9th”) promising an exceptional blowjob. He goes there expecting something special.
- Misdirection/Exaggeration: The prostitute has accumulated a substantial property portfolio based on her handjob and blowjob skills, dramatically overemphasizing the value of these services.
- The Twist/Punchline: The presumed link between her sexual skills and material wealth is abruptly severed by the revelation that she doesn’t even have the organ one would expect for the most valuable service, creating a massive anticlimax and an absurd disconnect. The humor derives from the complete unexpectedness and the sudden lack of any logical explanation for her success.
Key Elements:
- Hyperbole: The prostitute’s wealth is wildly exaggerated.
- Anticlimax: The setup implies a sex-related skill justifies the wealth, but the punchline throws the whole thing into chaos.
- Gender Bending / Surprise Identity: The reveal that she doesn’t have a vagina subverts expectations about gender roles in the sex industry, which is the core of the joke.
Comedic Enrichment – “Did You Know?” Enhancement:
Let’s lean into the absurdity of real estate accumulation via… unconventional skills.
Did you know:
- Historically, success in unconventional, though perhaps not this unconventional, fields could lead to serious wealth. For example, in the 17th century, expert tulip bulb speculators in the Netherlands drove the price of some single bulbs higher than the cost of houses. While the market crashed spectacularly (Tulip Mania), some shrewd bulb-sellers did make fortunes. Imagine a similar pitch: “See that canal house? All mine…from my ‘Queen of the Night’ tulip grafting.”
- Or, we could draw parallels to the pet rock craze, where one person (Gary Dahl) truly did make millions from selling common rocks…with instructions. Her business proposition is hardly more absurd.
New Joke/Witty Observation based on this:
“I saw a guy trying to sell NFTs based on abstract interpretations of famous tax law loopholes. He claimed that one day, his ‘Section 1031 Exchange’ NFT would buy him a private island. I asked him if he even knew anything about tax law. He just pointed to a whiteboard covered in scribbles and said, ‘You see that entire tax code complexity? All mine…if I actually understood it.'”
Why this works:
- Mirrors the Structure: The setup (selling something unusual with grand claims), the visual “evidence” (the whiteboard = the buildings), the implied skill (tax law instead of sex), and the underlying lack of actual expertise create a similar comedic framework.
- Modern Twist: NFTs and tax loopholes are contemporary subjects that resonate with a modern audience.
- Satire: It satirizes the absurdity of get-rich-quick schemes and the tendency to oversell skills or opportunities.
Essentially, we’ve taken the framework of the original joke, applied it to a different, equally unlikely context, and grounded it in a humorous, (slightly) real-world observation.