Good morning kids, today we are going to learn the word "definitely". I'm going to ask you to make up a sentence with this word.
Susie, what is your sentence?
I definitely will play with my friends today at break time.
Thank you Susie. Mark, what is your sentence?
My dad definitely likes to watch football on the TV.
That's a good one Mark, thankyou.
Suddenly little Jimmy raises his hand to ask a question.
Yes, Jimmy?
Do farts have lumps Ms.Brown?
What??!! That's a nasty question Jimmy, why would you ask that?
I want to know if farts have lumps.
No they don't Jimmy.
Ok, so then I definitely shit my pants.
Joke Poo: The Baking Mishap
A seasoned baker, Agnes, is teaching a class on sourdough bread making. She instructs her students:
“Good morning everyone! Today, we are mastering the art of sourdough. The key is understanding ‘hydration’. I’ll ask you to describe how hydration impacts your dough. Sarah, what does hydration mean to your sourdough?”
“Hydration definitely makes my sourdough more airy and gives it a lovely open crumb.”
“Excellent, Sarah! David, what about you?”
“Proper hydration definitely ensures my sourdough develops a beautiful crust.”
Suddenly, old Mr. Fitzwilliam raises his hand, a worried expression on his face.
“Yes, Mr. Fitzwilliam?”
“Does sourdough ever… weep, Agnes?”
“Weep? What an odd question, Mr. Fitzwilliam. Why would you ask that?”
“I just need to know if sourdough ever weeps.”
“No, Mr. Fitzwilliam, sourdough doesn’t weep.”
“Oh dear. Then I definitely put too much water in the starter.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then see what humorous nuggets we can mine from it.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Introduces a classroom setting and a lesson on the word “definitely.” Establishes a predictable pattern of students giving appropriate examples.
- Incongruity/Twist: Jimmy breaks the pattern with a vulgar and unexpected question about farts having lumps.
- Punchline: The setup leads the audience to expect another sentence using “definitely” in a school-appropriate context. Jimmy subverts this expectation by revealing he has soiled himself and using “definitely” to explain his deduction.
- Humor Source: The humor comes from the unexpected juxtaposition of polite classroom behavior with bodily functions, Jimmy’s apparent innocence, and the abrupt shift in tone. It leverages the classic “kid says something inappropriate” trope.
Key Elements:
- The word “definitely”: A word that implies certainty and confidence, ironically used to confirm an embarrassing situation.
- Bodily Functions (Farts/Shitting): A taboo subject, especially in a classroom setting.
- Child Innocence/Vulgarity: The humor is amplified by the juxtaposition of a young child discussing (and experiencing) a taboo bodily function.
- Classroom Setting: A space associated with learning, rules, and proper behavior.
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor Creation:
Let’s use the “bodily function in a formal setting” element and the word “definitely” to create a new, related joke:
New Joke:
- Setting: A prestigious international diplomacy summit. Leaders from around the world are gathered to discuss climate change.
- Setup: The French President begins a passionate speech about reducing methane emissions, emphasizing the urgency of the situation.
- Incongruity/Punchline: Just as he reaches the climax of his speech, advocating for radical new policies, a very loud, prolonged flatulent noise erupts from the seat of the Russian ambassador. He pauses, clears his throat, and says with perfect composure, “Regarding the previous statement by the French President, I can definitely confirm that the situation is, shall we say, volatile.”
Alternative Punchline (more absurd):
The Ambassador then leans into his microphone and says, “I can definitely say that biofuel is not working for me.”
Did you know?:
The average person farts 14-23 times per day. That’s enough methane to power a small lightbulb… for a very, very short amount of time. And while the stereotype is that men fart more, studies show that both men and women produce roughly the same amount of gas. Perhaps Jimmy was just an overachiever in the flatulence department!
Witty Observation:
“The word ‘definitely’ is often used right before someone reveals something they are trying very hard to downplay.”
Why this works:
- It maintains the element of surprise.
- It amplifies the original joke’s sense of the inappropriate occurring where it shouldn’t.
- It uses the word “definitely” in a comedic way, highlighting the absurdity of using it in such situations.
- The alternative punchline adds a layer of absurdism.
- The “Did you know?” provides an amusing (and semi-factual) tidbit.
- The witty observation adds a meta-commentary on the joke’s structure.
I believe this both analyses the original joke and effectively expands on its comedic potential!