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I just bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands.

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Well, OK. The truth is that I took it off some little, fat, unathletic kid.

Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the joke:

Joke Poo: My Life Coach’s Laptop

I just acquired one of those “Productivity Enhancement” stickers for my laptop.

Well, okay. The truth is I peeled it off my life coach’s broken one after he threw it across the room yelling, “This damn thing increases my stress!”

Alright, let’s dissect this little gem.

Key Elements and Analysis:

  • Setup: The joke begins with a seemingly virtuous statement: “I just bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands.” This primes the audience for a positive or supportive narrative.
  • Subversion: The punchline completely undercuts the initial expectation. The truth reveals the speaker as a bully themselves, directly contradicting the purpose of the wristband.
  • Irony: The core humor lies in the profound irony of using an anti-bullying wristband as a bully.
  • Stereotypes: The description “little, fat, unathletic kid” uses common stereotypes associated with bullying victims, making the contrast with the anti-bullying wristband even more jarring.
  • First-Person Narrative: The first-person perspective adds a layer of dark humor, as the speaker readily admits to their transgression.

Comedic Enrichment Ideas:

Here are a few ways we can build on this joke:

1. A “Did You Know” with a Twist:

“Did you know that anti-bullying campaigns actually saw a spike in wristband theft amongst budding sociopaths in 2023? Studies suggest that the ironic cognitive dissonance somehow… empowered them. Experts remain baffled, but one thing’s for sure: wristband sales have skyrocketed among children ironically named ‘Hope’ and ‘Faith’.”

Explanation: This takes the original irony and pushes it further into absurdity. It uses fake statistics and expert opinions to create a ludicrous explanation for the speaker’s behavior. The final line adds a touch of wordplay.

2. A Witty Observation:

“Wearing an anti-bullying wristband while actively bullying someone is like wearing a ‘Save the Planet’ t-shirt while driving a Hummer made entirely of Styrofoam. It’s not just hypocrisy; it’s a lifestyle choice.”

Explanation: This observation expands the joke’s core theme into a broader commentary on hypocrisy, using a vivid and exaggerated comparison to highlight the absurdity.

3. A Related (Dark) Joke:

“I’m starting an anti-bullying support group… mostly so I can find new targets. Just kidding! (Mostly.) But seriously, attendance is mandatory, and there will be consequences for non-compliance.”

Explanation: This directly plays off the original’s dark humor, escalating the implied bullying to a point of ludicrous over-the-topness. The parenthetical “Mostly” and the thinly veiled threat at the end add to the uncomfortable humor.

4. Alternative Punchline:

“I just bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands… because I’m thinking of getting into the bullying business, and I need to know the competition’s branding.”

Explanation: This alternative punchline shifts the perspective slightly. Instead of being a current bully, the speaker is aspiring to be one and sees the wristband as market research.

These options all aim to amplify or expand upon the comedic elements of the original joke, either through ironic juxtaposition, absurd scenarios, or dark observations. The goal is to create something new that’s still connected to the original’s humor but with a fresh spin.

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