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Fake Poo

What has 9 hands and sucks?

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Def Leppard.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the Def Leppard joke, aiming to maintain a similar structure and surprise:

Joke Poo: What has 16 wheels and smells like defeat?

…A bankrupt ice cream truck rally.

Alright, let’s dive into this rockin’ joke:

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: “What has 9 hands and sucks?” This establishes a riddle format, leading the listener to expect a creature, tool, or situation with negative connotations. The number “9” is a key misdirection.
  • Punchline: “Def Leppard.” This is the comedic payoff. The connection is two-fold:
    • Literal Interpretation: Def Leppard, a famous rock band, has five members. Assuming two hands per member (minus Rick Allen with one), that would equal 9 hands total.
    • Figurative Interpretation: “Sucks” can be a derogatory term for something of poor quality. The humor derives from suggesting the band’s music or performance isn’t good.

Key Elements:

  • Musical Band: Def Leppard is a well-known band.
  • Numerical Misdirection: The “9 hands” element is a calculated distraction.
  • Double Meaning of “Sucks”: Creates the potential for offense, but within a comedic framework.
  • Factual Anomaly: Rick Allen’s one arm creates a slightly quirky basis for the joke’s mathematics.

Comedy Enrichment: Rick Allen’s Story as an Inspiring Punchline Setup

Did you know that Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car accident? However, that didn’t stop him from playing drums, only made him a better drummer to inspire others.

This leads to a different joke based around the literal truth:

New joke:
What has 5 members, and 9 hands, but still rocks harder than most other bands?
\
… Def Leppard.

Alternative Witty Observation:

“I always thought Def Leppard was named ‘Def Leppard’ because they deafened everyone with their awesome guitar solos. Turns out, it was just a mathematical error related to counting hands. Who knew rock and roll relied so heavily on arithmetic?”

Alternative joke:

What had 8 hands and rocked, but gained another hand and became a legend?

… Def Leppard.

Explanation of comedic effect:

The “Did you know” turns the tragic into the inspirational. Highlighting Rick Allen’s resilience provides a context for the new joke, so it doesn’t come off as mocking. The “legend” joke leverages similar hand math, but gives a punchline that plays off Def Leppard’s greatness.

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