Skip to content
Joke Poo
Menu
  • Home
    • The Enduring Power of a Good Joke
  • Categories
    • Totally Feckin random
    • Why Did
    • Long
    • Wife
    • Walks into a bar
    • Dog
    • Bartender
    • Husband
    • Doctor
    • Chicken
  • Privacy Policy
Menu
Fake Poo

What has 9 hands and sucks?

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Def Leppard.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the Def Leppard joke, aiming to maintain a similar structure and surprise:

Joke Poo: What has 16 wheels and smells like defeat?

…A bankrupt ice cream truck rally.

Alright, let’s dive into this rockin’ joke:

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: “What has 9 hands and sucks?” This establishes a riddle format, leading the listener to expect a creature, tool, or situation with negative connotations. The number “9” is a key misdirection.
  • Punchline: “Def Leppard.” This is the comedic payoff. The connection is two-fold:
    • Literal Interpretation: Def Leppard, a famous rock band, has five members. Assuming two hands per member (minus Rick Allen with one), that would equal 9 hands total.
    • Figurative Interpretation: “Sucks” can be a derogatory term for something of poor quality. The humor derives from suggesting the band’s music or performance isn’t good.

Key Elements:

  • Musical Band: Def Leppard is a well-known band.
  • Numerical Misdirection: The “9 hands” element is a calculated distraction.
  • Double Meaning of “Sucks”: Creates the potential for offense, but within a comedic framework.
  • Factual Anomaly: Rick Allen’s one arm creates a slightly quirky basis for the joke’s mathematics.

Comedy Enrichment: Rick Allen’s Story as an Inspiring Punchline Setup

Did you know that Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car accident? However, that didn’t stop him from playing drums, only made him a better drummer to inspire others.

This leads to a different joke based around the literal truth:

New joke:
What has 5 members, and 9 hands, but still rocks harder than most other bands?
\
… Def Leppard.

Alternative Witty Observation:

“I always thought Def Leppard was named ‘Def Leppard’ because they deafened everyone with their awesome guitar solos. Turns out, it was just a mathematical error related to counting hands. Who knew rock and roll relied so heavily on arithmetic?”

Alternative joke:

What had 8 hands and rocked, but gained another hand and became a legend?

… Def Leppard.

Explanation of comedic effect:

The “Did you know” turns the tragic into the inspirational. Highlighting Rick Allen’s resilience provides a context for the new joke, so it doesn’t come off as mocking. The “legend” joke leverages similar hand math, but gives a punchline that plays off Def Leppard’s greatness.

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Why do Athenians hate waking up early?
  • What do “Green Eggs and Ham” and “Fifty Shades of Gray” have in common?
  • A husband and wife are discussing their last wishes.
  • Cookies
  • There was once an old man who lived by a forest. As the years went on, his hair thinned until he was completely bald.On his deathbed, he told his children:
  • High school multiple choice exam (just Yes or No answers)
  • 3 Golf Balls
  • An elderly man lay on his deathbed An elderly man lay on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife, three kids, and a nurse. With a deep breath, he began speaking: “Bill, you get the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, the offices in the Center Center are yours.
  • If you can’t find the opposite of “remember”…
  • What do you call a small green Jedi in the alps?
  • Someone in the street market was shouting: “Jokes for sale, jokes for sale”.
  • I woke up in the middle of the night cooking stir fry.
  • How to pronounce Celtic words and names
  • I was at a con the other day and a girl cosplaying as Pomni held the door open for me.
  • What do you call footwear made from bananas?
  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse

Categories

  • "Walks into a bar"
  • Bartender
  • Blonde
  • Chicken
  • Dirty
  • Doctor
  • Dog
  • Heaven
  • Husband
  • Irishman
  • Knock Knock
  • Knock-Knock Joke
  • Lawyer
  • Lightbulb
  • Long
  • Mother-in-law
  • Politician
  • Priest
  • Religion
  • Totally Feckin random
  • Walks into a bar
  • What's the difference
  • Why Did
  • Wife
©2025 Joke Poo | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme