One day, a construction crew showed up to build a home on it.
Their 5-year-old daughter was fascinated and spent every day watching the crew work. Eventually, the rough-and-ready workers adopted her as a little mascot. They chatted with her, shared lunch breaks, and even gave her small jobs to make her feel included.
At the end of the week, they handed her a little pay envelope with a couple of dollars. Her mom was so proud and took her to the bank to start a savings account.
The teller, impressed, asked how she earned her paycheck.
The little girl said proudly, “I worked last week with the crew building the house next door.”
The teller smiled and asked, “Will you be working there again this week?”
She replied, “I will – if those lazy bstards at Home Depot ever deliver the fcking sand and cement.”
Joke Poo: The Parrot’s Potty Mouth
A retired professor moved into a quiet apartment building. One day, he noticed his neighbor had a beautiful, intelligent-looking parrot perched on a stand in her living room.
Intrigued, he started visiting daily, captivated by the parrot’s ability to mimic sounds and even seem to understand complex sentences. He’d read aloud from his philosophy books, and the parrot would often squawk back what sounded like insightful (if slightly garbled) commentary. The professor became convinced the parrot was a hidden genius.
At the end of the week, the neighbor decided to go away for a long weekend and asked the professor to look after the parrot. He was thrilled and promised to take excellent care of his feathered friend.
On the day the neighbor returned, she eagerly asked the professor how the parrot had been.
The professor, bursting with excitement, replied, “He was magnificent! We had such stimulating conversations. He even seemed to grasp the nuances of existentialism!”
The neighbor smiled and asked, “Did he behave himself while I was away?”
The professor chuckled and replied, “He did, mostly. Though, I must confess, he got a little restless waiting for the bloody Amazon delivery driver to bring the parrot seed and mineral block. He kept shouting, ‘Where’s that feckless wanker with the bird grub?'”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then build something new on top of it.
Joke Deconstruction:
- Setup: A wholesome scene of a young girl befriending construction workers. Establishes a tone of innocence and cuteness.
- Rising Action: The workers “adopt” her, making her feel included and paying her. This reinforces the sweetness of the situation.
- Twist: The punchline subverts expectations. The innocent little girl uses shockingly vulgar language to express frustration, revealing a side of her that sharply contrasts with the initial impression.
- Humor Source: The humor derives from incongruity (the juxtaposition of the innocent child and foul language), surprise (the unexpected turn), and a bit of schadenfreude (amusement at the frustration of the workers and, by extension, the girl).
Key Elements to Play With:
- Childlike Innocence vs. Adult Language: This is the core of the joke.
- Construction Work Frustrations: Delays, material shortages, and unreliable suppliers are relatable frustrations.
- Home Depot (or similar store): A familiar symbol of home improvement, adding a layer of relatability.
- The Teller’s Perspective: The oblivious teller represents the “straight man” in the situation, heightening the humor.
New Humor Creation:
Let’s create a “Did You Know?”-style observation, leveraging these elements:
“Did you know that the construction industry is secretly fueled by the frustration of five-year-olds? While they may not be old enough to legally operate a jackhammer, their highly expressive vocabulary, honed by observing adults dealing with late Home Depot deliveries, ensures a steady supply of colorful language on job sites. A recent study even suggests that construction delays are directly correlated with the number of times a child is overheard mimicking phrases like, ‘Where the bleep is the bleeping sand!?’ This phenomenon, dubbed ‘The Tiny Foreman Effect,’ is currently being studied by leading linguists… and possibly child protective services.”
Why this works:
- Builds on the original: It takes the core humor of the original joke (child using adult language related to construction frustration) and expands on it.
- Uses “Did You Know?” format: The pseudo-factual format creates a humorous framing. The absurdity is amplified because we pretend it’s a real fact.
- Exaggerates: The idea of “The Tiny Foreman Effect” and the “study” by linguists and CPS adds to the ridiculousness.
- Relatable: The frustration with Home Depot and the general nature of delays in construction remains relatable.
- Implied Judgement: The ending line regarding CPS adds another layer of absurdity since a child is being encouraged to speak in such a way in the punchline of the original joke.
Alternatively, a new joke based on a similar premise:
A kindergarten teacher asks her students what they want to be when they grow up. Little Timmy raises his hand and says, “I want to be a project manager!”
The teacher, impressed, asks, “Oh, really? What makes you want to be a project manager?”
Timmy responds, “Because then I can spend all day yelling at people about why the bleeping drywall isn’t here yet!”
The same core of a child applying their newfound lexicon to future profession, while the original joke had a punchline delivered after a wholesome setup, this one implies it.