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Stranded in an island with Gisele Bundchen

Posted on July 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

A plane crashes into the ocean, and two of the survivors wash ashore a deserted island: one of them, a regular Joe; the other, Gisele Bundchen.

First, they wait for help to arrive, signalling their presence on the island. But no one comes, so they decide to get comfortable.

They build rudimentary dwellings, begin fishing and farming coconuts for sustenance, and after a few weeks, a budding romance blossoms between Gisele and the bloke. They eventually settle into this idyllic tropical life together.

After a couple of months pass, the man suddenly begins to grow morose and crestfallen. Eventually, Gisele decides to approach him and ask him what's wrong.

The man is initially reluctant to share anything, but Gisele Bundchen insists: "I love you, and I just want you to be happy. Is there anything I can do to get you out of this rut?"

"You really mean it? Anything?", the man asks.

Gisele gives it a fleeting moment of reflection, and then answers: "Anything."

The man then grabs her by the arm and takes her to his hut. He instructs Gisele Bundchen to put on a pair of pants and one of his shirts. The man grabs a piece of ash and smears it on top of Gisele's lip to give her a makeshift moustache.

Gisele is still dumbfounded while the man sits her down by a table, pours both of them a drink. Finally, the man grabs his drink, and then leans in to say, with a huge smile on his face: "Bro, you won't BELIEVE who I'm fucking."

Joke Poo: Lost in Space with Elon Musk

A spaceship malfunctions and only two escape pods make it to a deserted asteroid: one occupied by a seasoned astronaut, the other by Elon Musk.

Initially, they focus on survival, rationing the meager supplies, and trying to repair a distress beacon. Weeks turn into months, filled with failed attempts and growing despair. Elon, however, remains relentlessly optimistic, sketching ideas for asteroid colonization and beaming about revolutionary new battery technology.

After a few months, the astronaut notices Elon becoming increasingly withdrawn and irritable. Finally, the astronaut decides to confront him.

“Elon,” he says, “You’re clearly unhappy. What’s wrong? We’re in this together, I’ll do anything to help.”

Elon looks conflicted, then finally relents. “You really mean that? Anything?“

The astronaut, remembering the endless engineering lectures and off-world theories, hesitates for just a moment, then firmly replies, “Anything.”

Elon perks up. He drags the astronaut to a corner of their makeshift shelter. He grabs a discarded wiring harness and carefully fashions it into a makeshift ponytail extension. He rummages through the emergency rations, smearing some dehydrated fruit pulp on the astronaut’s face to resemble rouge.

The astronaut stares, bewildered, as Elon then grabs a half-eaten protein bar, chews it into a paste, and smears it on the astronaut’s chin to simulate a beard.

Finished, Elon beams. He pulls out a worn-out notepad and a broken pen, hands them to the astronaut.

“Okay,” Elon says, clapping the astronaut on the back. “Now write a tweet: ‘Just had the most profound, soul-searching conversation with a deeply troubled billionaire. He’s clearly lost it, thinks he’s a beautiful woman, and has a thing for me. #SpaceMadness #SendHelp.'”

Alright, let’s break down this joke and see if we can extract some comedic gold.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: Ordinary man stranded on a deserted island with supermodel Gisele Bündchen. Sounds like a dream, right?
  • Setup: They survive, build a life, and develop a romance. The idyllic scenario is established.
  • Twist: The man becomes unhappy. The audience expects a problem related to their relationship or survival.
  • Punchline: The man’s true desire is to brag to a male friend about his unlikely conquest. He recreates a “bro” environment to fulfill this urge. The humor comes from the unexpected and selfish nature of the man’s desire, contrasting with the fantasy situation.

Key Elements:

  • Gisele Bündchen: Represents ultimate attractiveness, success, and a fantasy partner.
  • Deserted Island: A classic scenario for adventure, romance, and stripping away societal constraints.
  • “Regular Joe”: Represents the average, relatable guy.
  • Male Bonding/Bragging: Highlights the importance of male friendship and competitive one-upmanship in some male social dynamics.
  • Misdirection: The audience is led to believe the problem is with the relationship or survival.

Comedic Enrichment – Joke Option:

Why did the guy on the deserted island dress Gisele Bündchen up like a dude?

Because he realized the only way to truly appreciate his situation was to mansplain it to someone.

Explanation:

This joke plays on the original punchline’s focus on male bonding and bragging. By adding the idea of ‘mansplaining’, I’m adding another layer of comedic social commentary.

Comedic Enrichment – “Did You Know?” Option:

Did you know that Gisele Bündchen’s full name is Gisele Caroline Nonnenmacher Bündchen? Imagine trying to casually drop that name in a bragging story. “Bro, you won’t believe who I’m dating…Gisele Caroline Nonnenmacher Bündchen!” It loses a little of the punch, doesn’t it? Maybe that’s why the guy in the joke stuck to “Gisele.” Efficiency is key when you’re trying to maintain your image.

Explanation:

This plays on the “bragging” aspect. The absurd length of Gisele’s full name undermines the smoothness of the bragging scenario.

Comedic Enrichment – Witty Observation Option:

The real tragedy of that deserted island scenario isn’t the lack of civilization; it’s the realization that even with Gisele Bündchen at your disposal, the human need for validation from your bros remains insatiable. Turns out, some desires transcend even tropical paradise.

Explanation:

This leans into the slightly cynical, but relatable, observation about the prioritization of validation in certain social dynamics. It’s a “truth bomb” wrapped in a humorous observation.

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