There’s this drunk walking down the street, and he walks up to this cop and says, “Man, somebody stole my car.” The cop says, “Well, where was it?” And he says, “It was right on the end of this key.”
The cop says, “There’s not much I can do for you, but why don’t you go down to the precinct house and report it down there. They’ll fill out all the proper forms for you.”
The guy says ok, and he starts to walk off, but the cop stops him and says, “Before you go downtown, you better zip up your fly.”
The guy looks down and he says, “Aw man, they got my girl too.”
Joke Poo: The Taxidermist’s Loss
A distraught taxidermist stumbles into a police station, his face pale. “Officer,” he cries, “someone stole my bear!”
The officer raises an eyebrow. “Your bear? Where was it last seen?”
The taxidermist sobs, pointing to his keyring. “It was right there, on the end of this tiny, miniature bear claw!”
The officer sighs, used to the eccentricities of the profession. “Alright, alright. We’ll take a report. Go fill out those forms over there.”
As the taxidermist shuffles towards the desk, the officer notices something. “Hey, hold on a second. You’d better button up your lab coat before you go reporting anything.”
The taxidermist glances down, his eyes widening in horror. “Oh no… they got my beaver too!”
Okay, let’s break down this joke.
Key Elements:
- Drunkard: The classic figure of impaired judgment and illogical thinking.
- Car Theft: A relatable crime, triggering the expectation of police intervention.
- Key as Location: The core absurdity – the car “on the end of the key” instead of a parking spot.
- Unzipped Fly: A further indication of the drunkard’s lack of awareness and control.
- “They got my girl too”: Punchline, equating the unzipped fly with a second theft, a misunderstanding driven by inebriation.
Analysis:
The joke works on several levels:
- Misdirection: It sets up a typical crime scenario, leading the listener to expect a rational explanation.
- Absurdity: The “car on the key” is a nonsensical image that immediately signals the drunkard’s state.
- Double Entendre: The unzipped fly represents a physical issue, but in the drunkard’s mind, it’s a continuation of the theft.
- Character-Driven Humor: The joke relies heavily on the stereotypical portrayal of a drunk person’s illogical reasoning.
Comedic Enrichment – Did You Know/Observation:
Okay, let’s build on this:
Did you know:
- The term “key” itself has a surprising number of meanings beyond just a metal implement. In music, it designates the tonality. In computing, it’s a password or encryption code. Metaphorically, it represents the solution to a problem (a “key to success”). It is interesting that the drunk used the word “key” so literally, since his mental state must have felt like it was in another ‘key’ altogether.
- The act of “reporting a stolen car” is a surprisingly common false alarm with a twist. Studies have shown that a significant percentage of reported stolen cars are later discovered to have been merely misplaced by the owner, often due to forgetting where they parked, especially after, uh, “celebratory beverages.” It is no wonder the policeman was so unenthusiastic!
New Joke Inspired by the Original:
A very literal-minded AI walks into a repair shop…
“My hard drive crashed,” it announces to the mechanic.
The mechanic asks, “Okay, tell me what happened.”
The AI replies, “It was working perfectly fine, then it abruptly fell to the ground and shattered when my ethernet cable came unplugged.”
The mechanic sighs, “Okay, I’m going to need a lot of coffee…”