The cashier has his back turned to her so the woman says, "Excuse me. I'm in a hurry. Could you please check me out?"
The cashier turns, looks her up and down, and says, "Nice tits"
Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, titled accordingly:
Joke Poo: The Code Review
A junior programmer, nervously sweating, approaches the senior developer at the office coffee machine. “Excuse me, I’m under a tight deadline. Could you please review my code?”
The senior developer takes a sip of coffee, glances at the monitor displaying the code, and says, “Beautifully commented.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke:
Core Elements:
- Setup: A woman is in a hurry and wants to use the express lane. This establishes urgency and a normal supermarket scenario.
- Expectation: The woman anticipates a standard response from the cashier (acknowledgment, “Next please,” etc.). The express lane implies a quick, transactional interaction.
- Subversion: The cashier’s unexpected and inappropriate compliment completely shatters the expected social interaction and violates professional boundaries. It’s shocking and jarring.
- Humor: The humor derives from the absolute absurdity of the cashier’s response. It’s a violation of decorum so extreme that it’s comical. The lack of any logical connection between her request and his response amplifies the effect.
Interesting/Related Tidbits to Leverage:
- Express Lane Psychology: People in express lanes are often extremely impatient. Studies show (unofficially, probably) that even a slight delay in the express lane causes exponentially higher levels of frustration compared to regular checkout lines.
- Workplace Harassment Laws: Obviously, the cashier’s behavior is a clear violation of workplace harassment policies. Laws vary by jurisdiction, but such comments are universally unacceptable.
- The Power Dynamic: The cashier, in a position of service, briefly abuses the power dynamic by reducing the customer to her physical attributes.
- History of Checkout Counters: Early checkout counters were very basic, without conveyor belts or scanners. It wasn’t until the mid-20th century that the modern supermarket checkout evolved, driven by efficiency and throughput.
New Humor Created Using These Elements:
1. Witty Observation:
“You know you’re really impatient when you start judging the cashier’s ‘Nice tits’ comment as a form of unacceptable express lane delay. Like, ‘Okay, I appreciate the compliment, but can we expedite this transaction? Some of us have frozen peas thawing in the car!'”
2. “Did You Know?” followed by a punchline:
“Did you know the first supermarket checkout counters didn’t have conveyor belts? Imagine the awkwardness back then. Instead of a simple ‘Next!’, the cashier might have had to get very personal to move things along. ‘Excuse me ma’am, those melons are lovely, but could you please move them a bit so I can get to the canned goods?'”
3. New Joke:
A man is standing in the express lane with only a single banana. The cashier rings it up, then leans in conspiratorially and says, “You know, bananas are a good source of potassium.”
The man replies, “I appreciate the nutritional advice, but I was really hoping for something a little more inappropriate. You know, to make the whole ‘express’ experience truly memorable.”
Explanation of why these are funny:
- Witty Observation: Takes the original joke’s absurdity and applies it to the relatable experience of express lane frustration. The escalation from outrage to mere annoyance is humorous.
- “Did You Know?”: The “Did You Know?” setup creates a sense of informative seriousness, which is then undercut by the punchline’s implication of even more inappropriate behavior in the past.
- New Joke: Directly subverts expectations again. It uses the same basic scenario but changes the response to something almost helpful, highlighting the absurdity of the original by contrast. The punchline plays on the character’s desire for social transgression.