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Fake Poo

I don’t mean to brag but I need both hands for a wank.

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

One on the magnifying glass and one on the tweezers.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” riffing on the original joke:

Joke Poo: Gardener’s Dilemma

I don’t mean to brag, but I need both hands when I’m gardening.

One to hold the watering can, and the other to hold my back. I’m getting too old for this!

Alright, let’s get under the hood of this joke.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: It starts with a boastful, suggestive setup implying impressive anatomical endowments related to masturbation.
  • Twist: The punchline subverts the expectation by revealing the need for two hands is due to a medical examination or very small genitals and magnification/tweezers.
  • Humor Mechanism: The humor comes from the incongruity between the boastful buildup and the mundane/unflattering reality. The surprise element amplifies the comedic effect. There’s also a light touch of self-deprecation.
  • Key Elements:
    • Bragging/Ego: A sense of superiority.
    • Sexual Innuendo: Suggestiveness.
    • Subversion of Expectation: The setup leads the listener to a very different conclusion.
    • Size/Magnification: Implied lack of it.
    • Medical/scientific equipment: The tweezer and magnifying glass.

Comedic Enrichment: A “Did You Know?” Style Observation:

“Did you know that the human penis has no bones? This is partially why ‘micropenis’ (a penis significantly smaller than average) is a descriptive term, not a medical one. You can’t technically break one into being smaller, but a magnifying glass and tweezers, as demonstrated, can certainly create that impression.”

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