A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began to read.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say Father, what causes arthritis?”
The priest replies, “My son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and contempt for your fellow man.”
“Well I’ll be darned,” the drunk muttered, returning to his newspaper.
The priest thinking about what he said, nudged the drunk and apologized.
“I’m sorry to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”
“I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”
Joke Poo: The Programmer and the Plumber
A programmer covered in energy drink stains sat down next to a plumber on a park bench. The programmer’s t-shirt was inside out, his eyes were bloodshot, and a tangled mess of charging cables was erupting from his backpack.
He cracked his knuckles and started furiously typing on his laptop.
After a few minutes, the programmer turned to the plumber and asked, “Say, buddy, what causes code bloat?”
The plumber replies, “Son, it’s caused by feature creep, writing spaghetti code, prematurely optimizing everything, and a complete disregard for proper documentation.”
“Well, I’ll be darned,” the programmer muttered, returning to his laptop.
The plumber, rethinking his brusque reply, nudged the programmer and apologized.
“I’m sorry if I came on a bit strong. How much code bloat do you have?”
“I don’t have any, friend. I was just reading here that the new version of Windows does.”
Alright, let’s break down this boozy bit of blasphemy!
Key Elements:
- Juxtaposition: A drunk, the embodiment of earthly indulgence, sits next to a priest, a figure of spiritual rectitude. This immediately sets up a comedic contrast.
- Assumptions & Stereotypes: The priest assumes the drunk’s appearance reflects his lifestyle and that he, himself, is the one suffering from the related illness.
- Irony: The priest’s judgmental pronouncements are ironically misplaced. The real target of his diatribe is the Pope, a figure he theoretically holds in high esteem.
- The Unexpected Twist: The setup leads us to believe the drunk is the subject of the priest’s lecture. The punchline flips this expectation, making the priest’s moralizing even more absurd.
- Drinking & Popes: The implication that the Pope might suffer from the consequences of “loose living” is inherently funny because of the Pope’s position as a symbol of morality and adherence to the Catholic Church.
Comedic Enrichment & Enhancement:
Let’s leverage some interesting tidbits to create a new joke playing off these elements:
Joke:
A staunchly Catholic woman is at confession. She whispers through the screen, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I stayed out late dancing, drank a little wine, and… well, I kissed a handsome bartender.”
The priest sighs. “My dear, these are minor transgressions. Don’t dwell on them.”
The woman persists, “But Father, I keep reading about the Pope doing similar things! Is it truly okay for me to enjoy life just a little?”
The priest chuckles. “My child, the Pope is infallible when speaking on matters of faith and morals. Dancing, drinking, and the occasional kiss? That’s just ‘Pope-ing’ off!”