“I know you love your computer,” said the grandfather, “but you really should get out of the house more and experience life. After all, you’re eighteen now. When I was eighteen, I went to Paris, went to the Moulin Rouge, drank all night, had my way with the dancers, pissed on the barman and left without paying! Now that is how to have a good time!”
A week later, the grandfather came to visit again. He found the boy still in his room, but this time with a broken arm in plaster, two black eyes and no front teeth.
“What happened to you?” he asked.
The boy said: “I did what you did. I went to Paris, went to the Moulin Rouge, drank all night, had my way with the dancers, pissed on the barman and he beat the hell out of me!”
“Oh dear!” said the grandfather. “Who did you go with?”
“Just some friends. Why? Who did you go with?”
“The Third Panzer Division.”
Joke Poo: The Compost Convention
A young, enthusiastic gardener was meticulously tending his prized rose bushes when his seasoned, old neighbor leaned over the fence.
“I see you’re dedicated to your roses,” the neighbor croaked, “but you need to really experience gardening! At your age, I was entering the Giant Vegetable Competition! I grew a pumpkin so big, it needed a forklift. I charmed the judges with my composting techniques. I insulted the fertilizer salesman to his face and stole his best secrets! That’s how you win!”
A week later, the neighbor saw the young gardener covered in mud, sporting a black eye, and limping heavily.
“What in tarnation happened to you?” he asked.
The young gardener groaned, “I did what you did! I entered the Giant Vegetable Competition, grew a pumpkin, charmed the judges, insulted the fertilizer salesman, and tried to steal his secrets! And then he beat me within an inch of my life!”
“Oh, dear!” said the neighbor, adjusting his hearing aid. “Who was judging?”
“Just some local gardeners. Why? Who was judging when you did it?”
“The International Federation of Competitive Fertilizer Manufacturers.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke like a comedic geologist.
Elements of the Original Joke:
- Generational Gap: The humor hinges on the contrasting experiences and expectations of youth across generations. Grandfather’s wild youth versus grandson’s computer-centric life.
- Misinterpreted Advice: The grandson takes the grandfather’s (questionable) advice literally, leading to disastrous consequences.
- Historical Context (Subtle): The punchline uses historical context (The Third Panzer Division – a Nazi tank division) to reveal the reason the grandfather got away with his behavior, highlighting the vast power imbalance he held.
- Irony/Understatement: The grandfather’s “Oh dear!” response underplays the severity of the situation and the underlying darkness of his youthful escapades.
- Expectation Subversion: We expect the grandfather’s tale to be a positive encouragement of youth, but it’s revealed to be a consequence of historical and political power.
Interesting Facts and Tidbits to Play With:
- Third Panzer Division: This was a real, notorious division of the Wehrmacht (German armed forces) during World War II. They were involved in many key campaigns, including the invasion of Poland, France, and the Soviet Union. Their reputation was one of speed, aggression, and ruthlessness.
- Moulin Rouge: Still around and a symbol of Parisian nightlife. However, the actual “dancers” and their social dynamics have changed slightly since the 1940s… I’d wager.
- Grandfather’s Inherent Unreliability: In historical hindsight, it’s clear that the grandfather’s tale is warped and perhaps self-aggrandizing. Memory is fallible.
New Humor Creation (Witty Observation):
The grandfather, clearly a man of a certain vintage, seems to forget that casually ‘having his way’ with dancers in 1942 wasn’t exactly a consensual arrangement. It’s like boasting about a high score in Oregon Trail – technically impressive for the time, but morally questionable in retrospect.
New Humor Creation (Amusing ‘Did You Know’):
Did you know that the Moulin Rouge once had an actual windmill on its roof? Not just a decorative one. This is relevant because, given the Third Panzer Division’s involvement, there’s a statistically higher chance the grandfather’s youthful indiscretions involved an actual tank going through the windmill, rather than simply witnessing a performance in the evening.
New Humor Creation (Alternate Punchline):
“Oh dear!” said the grandfather. “Who did you go with?”
“Just some friends. Why? Who did you go with?”
“Well son, back then, the barman was afraid of the boys in uniform.”