he wanted it commemorated in the form of a gold statue.
So he went to a local jeweller’s shop and asked: “Can ya make me a gold statue of ma dog?”
“Certainly, sir,” said the jeweller. “Would you like it eighteen carat?”
“No, daft lad, I want it chewin’ a bone.”
Joke Poo: The Architect’s Request
An eccentric architect was so proud of his prize-winning koi pond that when his favourite koi carp died, he wanted it immortalised.
So he went to a prestigious sculptor and asked: “Can you create a bronze statue of my koi?”
“Certainly, sir,” said the sculptor. “Would you like it life-sized?”
“No, daft lad! I want it with concrete fins!”
Alright, let’s break down this Geordie gold statue joke and then gild it with some extra humor.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Premise: A Geordie (person from Newcastle, England, known for their distinctive dialect) wants a gold statue of his dog.
- Punchline Mechanism: The misunderstanding hinges on the double meaning of “carat.” The jeweler means “carat” as a measure of gold purity. The Geordie hears “carrot” and wants the dog depicted chewing a bone (presumably because he assumes the jeweler is asking what the dog is to chew).
- Humor Elements:
- Dialect: The Geordie dialect contributes to the humor through pronunciation and regional slang (“daft lad”). This immediately sets a specific, potentially comical, persona.
- Misunderstanding: The classic comedy trope of a linguistic misunderstanding.
- Character Contrast: The juxtaposition of the jeweler’s sophisticated vocabulary (“eighteen carat”) with the Geordie’s simpler, more literal interpretation.
Enrichment Ideas & New Jokes:
Here are a few ways we can expand upon this joke:
1. The “Did You Know?” Route:
- Did you know: Newcastle is famous for the Angel of the North, a huge steel sculpture. Perhaps the Geordie was inspired by this, just with a dog in gold and chewing a carrot (or rather, a bone!). Although, if it were built to the same specifications, a solid gold dog statue of that size would require the entire gold reserves of Fort Knox and wouldn’t fit in his garden.
2. A Geordie Translation Guide (Amusingly Applied):
- We could create a short “Geordie-to-English” dictionary and use it to misinterpret other jeweler’s terms:
- Jeweler: “And what about the setting, sir?”
- Geordie: “Aye, set him down by the fire, he likes that!” (Setting = Placing)
- Jeweler: “Would you like an inscription?”
- Geordie: “In script? Nah, just write it normally like. It’s for ma dog, not a posh lawyer.”
3. The Absurd Extension:
- New Joke: The Geordie, now thoroughly confused, continues the statue commission:
“Right,” says the jeweler, trying again, “And what about the finish?”
The Geordie scratches his head. “Well, he’s a Border Terrier, but if you’re doing him in gold, I suppose you can just give him a posh dog coat like!”
4. Play on stereotype:
*New Joke: The Geordie went back to the jewellers to pick up the statue. “I love it!” he said, “But how much did it cost?” The jeweller responded, “£24,000”. The Geordie looked shocked, “£24,000? Man, I only paid £500 for the dog!”
Explanation of comedic effect of the new jokes and observations
The “Did you know” approach tries to create an incongruous juxtaposition of the reality that inspired the joke and the absurd outcome. The ‘Geordie Translation Guide’ continues the original punchline’s misunderstanding by providing further examples. The Absurd Extension escalates the original premise into an unlikely scenario. The Play on stereotype one creates humor based on the Geordie being frugal and not liking to spend money.
These ideas aim to either heighten the original joke’s humor through absurd scenarios or clever wordplay. The key is to maintain the Geordie dialect and the core misunderstanding element to keep the humor consistent.