But he was born without eyelids.
The doctor advised her, "Don't worry madam, we haven't circumcised him yet, so we'll use the leftover skin to give him a set of eyelids, and he will be as good as new."
With a horrified look, she turned to the doc and said: "What? He'll be cock-eyed and when he's old enough to go to school, the other kids will call him 'dick-face'!"
Smiling, the doctor re-assured her: "I doubt anyone will notice. It's a perfectly painless procedure performed by professional plastic surgeons, with a 99.9% proven success rate. Just think of the foresight he'll have."
Joke Poo: The Leftover Lyrics
A struggling songwriter finally landed a gig writing the score for a low-budget puppet show. But all the puppets were made from mismatched socks.
The puppet designer advised him, “Don’t worry, we haven’t finished the puppet that sings the big finale yet. We’ll use the leftover sock yarn to give him a really impressive singing voice.”
With a bewildered look, the songwriter turned to the designer and said: “What? He’ll be sock-hoprano and when he’s old enough to go on tour, the critics will call him ‘yarn-belter’!”
Smiling, the designer reassured him: “I doubt anyone will notice. It’s a perfectly precise procedure performed by highly-trained puppeteers, with a 99.9% proven success rate. Just think of the depth he’ll have.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke:
Elements & Analysis:
- Premise: A baby is born without eyelids.
- Complication: The proposed solution involves using foreskin for eyelid construction.
- Punchline 1: The mother’s concern about the aesthetic and social implications (“cock-eyed,” “dick-face”). This is the primary humor – the unexpected crudeness and the reversal of expectations (a medical procedure resulting in embarrassment).
- Punchline 2: The doctor’s “foresight” pun. This is a secondary, drier pun adding another layer of absurdity.
- Themes: Medical absurdity, parental anxiety, body image, double entendre.
- Type of Humor: Shock humor, pun, reversal, cringe humor.
Comedic Enrichment:
Now, let’s leverage these elements for some further fun:
Option 1: A “Did You Know?” Style Observation
“Did you know that the average human foreskin contains about 20,000 nerve endings? So, technically, if the kid did develop ‘foresight,’ it would be literal and exceptionally sensitive foresight. Like, he’d probably be able to predict the weather based on the wind speed against his eyelids… or maybe just know when someone was thinking dirty thoughts about him.”
Why it works: This takes the original joke’s absurdity and amps it up with a ridiculous, specific (and fabricated) hypothetical scenario. The blend of scientific factoid and crude humor mirrors the joke’s style.
Option 2: A Related Joke
A man goes to the doctor complaining about blurry vision. The doctor says, “Well, your problem is quite unusual. I can fix it, but it requires a corneal transplant. Unfortunately, we’re fresh out. However, I have almost the same thing… foreskin.”
The man recoils, “Foreskin? Are you insane? My vision will be terrible! It’ll be like looking through a peephole for the rest of my life!”
The doctor shrugs, “Look, it’s the only solution I’ve got… and frankly, you’ll be seeing things my way for once.”
Why it works: This uses the same initial setup as the first joke – a medical situation being resolved with foreskin. It relies on shock humor, plus a touch of observational humor about power dynamics.
Option 3: An Amplified Observation
“The real tragedy isn’t the kid’s potential nickname; it’s the plastic surgeon’s liability insurance. Imagine the malpractice suit if he accidentally gave the baby eyebrows that could retract. Talk about mood swings visible a mile away!”
Why it works: This builds upon the concept of the procedure and extends the logic into an even more absurd realm, emphasizing the chaotic potential of the situation.