The first lady was having a hell of a time; she couldn't keep her cigarette lit. She noticed the other lady having no problems whatsoever. She said "Oh, my! How are you keeping your cigarette lit?"
"It's easy, I just snipped the end off of a condom and the condom keeps the cigarette dry. I'm never going to do that again, though."
"Oh my! Why not?"
"Well, I think I gave the pharmacist a heart attack," she replied.
"Oh my! How did that happen?"
"I asked him for a pack of condoms, and he asked what size I wanted. I said I didn't know, just whatever's big enough for a Camel."
Joke Poo: Tech Support
Two IT guys were troubleshooting a server in a dimly lit, freezing server room, both desperately trying to stay awake with lukewarm coffee.
The first IT guy was having a terrible time; his virtual machine kept crashing every five minutes. He noticed the other IT guy was working steadily, seemingly without issue. He said, “Man, how are you keeping your VM stable? Mine keeps dying!”
“It’s easy, I just pointed the logging to /dev/null. I’m never doing that again, though.”
“Oh, why not?”
“Well, I think I gave the junior admin a stroke,” he replied.
“Oh my! How did that happen?”
“I asked him to check the error logs. He said he couldn’t find them anywhere, and asked what path they were. I said, I didn’t know, ‘just whatever’s big enough to hide a Kernel Panic’.”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke and then fertilize it with some humor-enhancing facts!
Joke Dissection:
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Core Elements:
- Old Ladies: Stereotypically portrayed as frail, perhaps a bit out of touch.
- Smoking: An unhealthy habit, especially amplified by the rain.
- Condoms: Used in an unconventional and humorous way. The double entendre is the key here.
- Pharmacist: An authority figure, usually unflappable, presented as shocked.
- Misunderstanding: The core comedic engine. The old lady’s literal application of the condom contrasts with its intended (and implied) use.
- “Camel” a type of cigarette and also a large animal.
-
Humor Source: The joke relies on:
- Juxtaposition: The contrast between the practical, albeit ridiculous, condom use and the intended sexual purpose.
- Misinterpretation: The lady’s innocent (or feigned innocence) regarding condom usage.
- Character Comedy: The image of an elderly woman nonchalantly buying condoms for her cigarettes.
- Wordplay: The double meaning of “Camel”.
Humor Enrichment & Expansion:
Let’s focus on the “Camel” brand aspect and the condom size misunderstanding.
Did you know:
- Camel cigarettes were introduced in 1913 by R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company. A significant part of their early marketing involved exotic imagery and an air of mystery and adventure, drawing on the romanticized idea of the “Orient.” They even used real camels in their advertising!
- The average length of a Camel cigarette is 85mm or 3.3 inches (for kingsize). The longest recorded Camel cigarette measured a whopping 18 feet long!
- “Camel Toe” is a colloquial term for the appearance of a woman’s labia through tight-fitting clothing. The implication of this with the woman’s intended purchase makes the joke even more ridiculous.
Revised Joke/Witty Observation:
Two old ladies are huddled under a leaky bus stop roof, both desperately trying to light their cigarettes. One is struggling, the rain extinguishing every match. The other is puffing away, completely unbothered. “Agnes, how are you managing?” the first lady wheezes.
“Easy, dearie. Just snip the end off a condom.”
“Oh, my. Doesn’t that seem a bit…extreme?”
“Oh, you have no idea. I nearly caused a full-blown cardiac event at the pharmacy. I asked the young man behind the counter for a pack of condoms, you see. He politely enquired as to my size preference. I told him, well, I had never purchased them before, “Oh, just whatever fits a Camel, I suppose!”
The lady paused for a moment and exclaimed “He then went to the back, and came out and gave me the biggest condom that he had! I was so happy I gave him a Werther’s Original!”
Alternate Punchline (Playing on the Camel theme and historical advertising): “Now, I’m all for embracing the exotic, but I think the pharmacist genuinely thought I was planning a much wilder ‘Hump Day’ than I had in mind.”
Why this is funnier (hopefully):
- Heightened Absurdity: The detail of offering the pharmacist a Werther’s Original adds to the image of a clueless old lady.
- Wordplay Enhancement: The “Hump Day” pun combines the animal meaning of “camel” with the sexual innuendo.
- Implied Shock: The pharmacist’s bewildered reaction is amplified by the woman’s oblivious innocence.
- Historical Context: Subtly references Camel’s marketing history.
Basically, we took a good joke and tried to layer in additional levels of absurdity, wordplay, and implied context to make it even more enjoyable. The key is finding factual tidbits that naturally amplify the core comedic elements.