He sees his chocolate Lab come around the corner of the garage, carrying something in his mouth.
The Lab drops it at his feet. It’s the neighbor’s poodle. It’s dead.
“Oh, no."
Now what do you do? Joe is panicking. The neighbors aren’t home. They only have one car and it’s gone.
He comes up with an idea. It’s not a good idea, but it’s all he’s got.
He goes over into their yard, takes the little poodle and puts it on the leash that’s lying there.
He thinks to himself “It was an old dog, maybe they’ll think it died of natural causes.”
Joe goes back to raking leaves and trying to look like everything’s normal.
The neighbors come home.
The wife sees the little poodle lying in the front yard. She runs over, picks it up and cuddles it, crying away.
Joe walks over, remembering to act normal and says, “Is your little dog OK?”
“No!”, she says. “No!”
“He died two days ago! Some horrible monster dug him up and put him back on his leash!”
Joke Poo: The Compost Caper
It’s early spring, Mildred is out tending her rose garden…
She sees her prize-winning compost bin, which usually sits demurely at the back of the yard, has been toppled over.
The cause? At her feet: the judge’s pet iguana. It’s very clearly lifeless.
“Oh, dear.”
Mildred is mortified. The garden competition is next week! The judge isn’t home. He only has one car and it’s gone. She comes up with an idea. It’s not a good idea, but it’s all she’s got.
She carefully scoops up a hefty trowel-full of compost, finds the iguana’s basking rock, and gently buries it.
She thinks to herself, “It was an old iguana, maybe he’ll think it died of natural causes… or was eaten by something.”
Mildred goes back to tending her roses and trying to look like everything’s normal.
The judge comes home.
He sees the toppled compost bin and runs over, ready to berate whoever was so careless. His beloved iguana, Iggy, is not to be seen. In the compost! He starts clawing, digging with bare hands and tearing up the dirt and the compost. He stops, scoops Iggy out and cuddles him, crying away.
Mildred walks over, remembering to act normal, and says, “Is your lizard okay?”
“Okay!?”, he says. “No! He was sleeping off a massive meal, dug himself in, and now smells like my prize-winning compost! Some horrible monster buried him alive!”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then sprinkle some comedic pixie dust on it.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A man (Joe) finds his dog has killed his neighbor’s poodle.
- Conflict: Joe attempts to cover up the dog’s involvement to avoid confrontation with the neighbors.
- Humor: The humor comes from the absurdity and escalating consequences of Joe’s terrible cover-up plan. The punchline reveals a morbid twist, turning Joe’s already flawed plan into an epic fail. The incongruity of someone digging up a dead dog and then re-leashing it is what delivers the final comedic blow.
- Key Elements:
- The Cover-Up: Joe’s desperate attempt to stage a natural death.
- The Poodle: Symbol of domesticity and fragility, making its death and subsequent exhumation more jarring.
- The Neighbors’ Reaction: Their shock and grief amplified by the unexpected re-appearance of their deceased pet.
- The Reveal: The punchline, with its unexpected element of grave robbery, completely upends the situation.
Comedic Enrichment:
Here’s a “Did you know?” riffing off the humor, playing on the morbid elements of the punchline:
Did you know: In some cultures, digging up a deceased pet might be less offensive than having a chocolate lab. For example, in certain areas of Romania, there’s a superstition that digging up a deceased black animal and placing it on a crossroads can ward off evil spirits. So, Joe could have spun it as “Good news, neighbors! I’ve protected our street from vampires, and I brought back Sparky!” Of course, he’d still have to explain why Sparky was wearing his leash in the afterlife. Perhaps explain that the afterlife requires you to walk your own ghost dog.
New Joke Idea (Playing on the escalating absurdity):
Joe is panicking. The poodle’s dead, and the neighbors are returning home. He remembers seeing a documentary about ancient Egypt. Rummaging through his garage, he finds an old roll of toilet paper and begins wrapping the poodle. “If I can pull this off, they might think it’s a mummified dog!”
The neighbors pull into the driveway and see Joe carefully placing the poodle-mummy in their flower bed.
“Joe, what in the world are you doing?” asks the neighbor, horrified.
Joe sighs. “Well, this is awkward. I found your dog dead. I figured you’d be less upset if I returned him to you in this traditional method used by Pharaohs to prepare their beloved canines for the afterlife. Don’t worry, I made sure to remove its organs. They’re in this mason jar.” He holds up a mason jar filled with….something.
The neighbor faints.
Joe thinks to himself, “Note to self: Always have a better story than ‘I turned your dog into an ancient artifact’. Also, never underestimate the importance of using actual bandages instead of two-ply.”
Why these are funny (hopefully!):
- “Did you know?” uses factual (if obscure) cultural information to create an unexpected, humorous juxtaposition with the original scenario.
- New Joke: This extends the cover-up escalating the ridiculousness of Joe’s attempts to conceal the truth. The Egyptian “solution” is absurdly inappropriate, and the addition of the organ-filled mason jar is a deliberately unsettling detail.
The key is to take a familiar concept (cover-up) and then push it into unexpected, over-the-top directions.