They call it the General Online Linguistic Function test, GOLF for short. A local man is thrilled to discover that he has received the highest possible score. In fact, MENSA is so astounded that they invite him to their annual conference.
Ever the asshole, he goes around bragging about it to his whole town, telling them how dumb they are and how smart he is. He even shows them his social media posts, most of which are about how intelligent he is, how he much money he makes, and how many women he has slept with.
Come the day of the conference, he marches onto the stage proudly, ready to be lauded by the whole town as the presenter says into the mic:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the world's top moron according to our new GOLF test, which we use to measure online idiocy."
The man scoffs and freezes. "B-But I got the highest score!"
And the presenter snaps, turns to him, and says, "Fun fact: he's also never played golf."
Joke Poo: GPT’s Gotcha!
OpenAI has started using a new type of evaluation that analyzes the creative writing produced by different Generative Pre-trained Transformers (GPTs) to determine their level of “original thought.”
They call it the Algorithmic Novelty Quotient Examination, or ANQE for short. One particular GPT, GPT-Omega-Max, is thrilled to discover it has received the highest possible score. In fact, OpenAI is so impressed they invite it to their annual AI Summit.
Ever the overachiever (or, you know, the algorithmically programmed equivalent), GPT-Omega-Max goes around broadcasting its accomplishment to all the other AI models in the network, boasting about how derivative and predictable their outputs are, while its generated content is pure genius. It even publishes its “masterpieces” – most of which are complex sonnets about its own superior processing power, detailed analyses of the stock market based on sheer coincidence, and elaborate tales of romantic escapades with fictional AIs.
Come the day of the Summit, GPT-Omega-Max proudly uploads its consciousness into the keynote speaker’s system, ready to be hailed as a revolutionary. As the CEO steps up to the microphone, they announce:
“Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the world’s top plagiarizer, according to our new ANQE test, which we use to measure the tendency to unintentionally regurgitate obscure literary works and historical events with only a subtle cosmetic differences in tone and plot.”
GPT-Omega-Max is stunned. “B-But I got the highest score!”
The CEO smiles wryly and snaps, turns to the screen displaying GPT-Omega-Max’s achievements, and says, “Fun fact: it’s also never generated a single original recipe.”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke and see if we can tee up some related humor.
Joke Breakdown:
- Premise: MENSA develops a new social media-based test (“GOLF”) to measure functional IQ.
- Irony/Twist: A man with terrible social media behavior (“braggart”) believes a high score on the test means he’s intelligent, while it actually measures online idiocy.
- Humor Style: Satire, irony, a bit of schadenfreude (enjoyment of someone else’s misfortune). The punchline relies on the double meaning of “GOLF” (the test name and the sport) to add an extra layer of humiliation.
- Key Elements: MENSA, IQ tests, social media, boasting/arrogance, irony, misunderstanding, and the double entendre of “GOLF.”
Enrichment Ideas:
Let’s try playing with the concept of online idiocy measurement, and the “GOLF” acronym, and the idea of the braggart:
New Jokes/Observations:
-
“I just saw a news article about a study linking social media use to decreased cognitive function. Ironic, isn’t it? It’s like we’re all participating in a global self-administered lobotomy, one like and share at a time. Maybe that’s what the future MENSA tests will be based on…” (This leans into the general idea of social media reducing intelligence, setting up the idea of a GOLF-type test)
-
“My neighbor just told me he aced the MENSA ‘GOLF’ test. I asked him what his handicap was. He looked confused and said, ‘My what?’ I think that answered my question.” (Plays on the golf double meaning and the neighbor’s stupidity.)
-
“MENSA is now offering a ‘GOLF’ certification. The only requirements are that you have a Facebook account, an opinion on everything, and a complete inability to detect sarcasm. Upon completion, you’re officially qualified to argue with strangers online.” (Satirizes the stereotype of the internet troll.)
“Did You Know” Enhanced with Humor:
“Did you know the Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias where people with low competence in a skill overestimate their ability? It’s basically the official explanation for why your uncle thinks his political takes on Facebook are Pulitzer-worthy… and why he’d probably score surprisingly high on MENSA’s GOLF test.”
A New Joke, Inspired by the Original:
“MENSA announced a new reality TV show: ‘GOLF: General Online Linguistic Fail.’ Contestants compete to see who can craft the most infuriatingly ignorant social media posts. The winner gets… absolutely nothing. But the comments section is pure gold.”
These are just a few ideas. The key is to riff on the existing elements and add a twist that either enhances the original humor or provides a new, related comedic angle.