She asks him “If I die, will you remarry?” The Husband replies, “Well it’s certainly possible”. The wife then asks “But would you guys stay in this same house?” The Husband says “Well I mean it is paid off, so it would make sense”. Then she asks, “Would she sleep in our bed with you?” He replies, “Well it’s a pretty new bed and in good condition so maybe”. The Wife finally asks “Would she use my golf clubs too?” The Husband answers “Oh no of course not, she’s left handed”.
Joke Poo: The Intergalactic Mechanic
An alien Empress asks her Royal Mechanic, Zorp, “If my hyperdrive malfunctions again and I perish in space, will you repair another ship?”
Zorp replies, “It’s highly probable, Your Luminosity. The Fleet needs tending.”
The Empress then asks, “But would you dock that ship in this hangar bay?”
Zorp says, “Well, it’s the largest and best equipped, so logistically, yes.”
Then she asks, “Would you use my personal plasma wrench on that ship?”
He replies, “It’s custom-fitted to your multi-appendaged grip and has emotional significance to you, so conceivably.”
The Empress finally asks, “Would she also complain about the screeching sound coming from the nebula conduits?”
Zorp answers, “Oh no, of course not, she’s deaf.”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then add some comedic zest!
Deconstruction:
- Core Concept: Marital insecurity and a husband’s unintentional (or intentional!) bluntness. The humor comes from the escalating series of questions revealing the wife’s worries and the husband’s increasingly pragmatic, and seemingly insensitive, responses.
- The Setup: Builds suspense with progressively more personal questions about the hypothetical new wife.
- The Twist/Punchline: The punchline subverts the expected jealousy relating to personal connection. Instead, the punchline is about the golf clubs – something less emotionally charged, but suggesting the husband has clearly already considered the details of a future relationship.
- Humor Style: Dry wit, observational humor, and a bit of dark humor about death and remarriage. It relies on the contrast between the wife’s emotional vulnerability and the husband’s logical (but tone-deaf) responses.
Key Elements to Play With:
- Remarriage
- Insecurity
- Material Possessions (house, bed, golf clubs)
- Left-handedness
Comedic Enrichment:
Okay, here’s a “Did you know?” style addition, leveraging the left-handedness aspect and turning it into a darker, more absurd joke:
Original Joke Enhancement:
Add this after the original joke.
“Did you know that left-handed golfers actually have a slight advantage on many courses? Their natural swing direction often aligns better with the doglegs that tend to be designed to favor right-handed players. Unless, of course, she’s planning to use your golf clubs for more… creative purposes.
The grim fact is statistically women are 50% less likely to be caught as suspects in murder investigations, this would be compounded even further if the husband died during a Golfing Vacation in the Bermuda Triangle“
Explanation of the Enrichment:
- The “Did you know?” starts with a harmless, factual tidbit.
- The second sentence injects dark humor by hinting at something sinister which ties back to the wife’s insecurity. It implies the wife might be considering murdering the husband. It’s unexpected and adds a layer of shock value.
- The “Grim Fact” is there to make a point with a high level of morbidity.
Why this works:
The original joke has a lighthearted quality. Adding this darker twist elevates the humor by contrasting it with the relative innocence of the original, and introduces a layer of absurdity to amplify the humor.