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Fake Poo

A guy sees a sign in a bar window looking for a piano player.

Posted on May 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

So he goes in and says he'd like to try out. The owner tells him, "There's the piano. Let's hear what you got."

The guy plays a haunting, soulful melody that is just beautiful.

The bar owner is impressed and asks the guy what song it was.

"It's my own composition. I call it 'Weasels Ate My Genitals.'"

Taken aback, the owner replies, "Um okay. Let's hear another one."

Again, the guy plays virtuoso piano but this time it's an upbeat jazzy number that had the owner dancing in his seat.

"That's great!", he said. "What's that song?"

"That's mine too. It's called 'Shit in My Mouth. I Love it."

The owner is shocked again but he has to have this guy in his place. He hires him but says he shouldn't tell people the names of his songs. The guy agrees.

When he starts playing at the bar, he's an instant hit. Everyone is digging his music and his tip jar is full. After a nice long set, he takes a quick bathroom break. As he's coming back, a lady stops him and says, "Do you know your zipper is open and your dick is hanging out?"

"Know it?", he replied."Hell lady, I wrote it!"

Joke Poo: The Exterminator’s Anthem

A woman sees a sign outside a pest control company looking for someone to write their jingles. She walks in and says she’s interested. The owner shrugs, "Okay, give us something catchy."

The woman hums for a moment, then belts out a beautiful, operatic aria. It’s breathtaking.

The owner is stunned. "That’s… incredible. What’s it called?"

"It’s my original composition. I call it ‘Roaches Devoured My Children’."

The owner raises an eyebrow. "Right… Let’s try something a little more… commercial."

The woman nods and launches into a high-energy, pop-punk anthem. It’s perfect for a TV ad, catchy and infectious.

"Fantastic!" the owner exclaims. "What’s that one called?"

"Another one of mine. It’s titled ‘Termites Gave My Wife a Hickey’."

The owner is speechless, but he recognizes talent. He hires her, warning her not to use the titles. She agrees.

Her jingles are a smash. The pest control company’s business booms. One day, after a particularly successful advertising run, she’s walking down the street when a man stops her.

"Excuse me," he says, pointing to her head, "but there’s a huge spider crawling in your hair!"

"I know," she replies with a wink. "I wrote it!"

Alright, let’s analyze this joke.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: A seemingly talented pianist auditions for a bar job.
  • Twist: His beautiful music is juxtaposed with outrageously vulgar song titles.
  • Escalation: The owner, despite the titles, is desperate to hire him.
  • Punchline: The ultimate reveal is that the piano player’s vulgarity is intrinsically linked to his entire being, extending even to his physical presentation. The open zipper becomes another "song" he "wrote."
  • Core Humor: The humor derives from the incongruity between high art (beautiful piano playing) and low subject matter (crude and shocking titles/actions), and the escalation of that incongruity to the point of absurdity. It also plays on the idea that creativity and vulgarity can sometimes be intertwined.

Key Elements:

  • Music/Piano: Represents skill, art, culture.
  • Vulgarity: The outrageous song titles and the final reveal of his exposed genitalia.
  • Incongruity: The central device of the joke.
  • The "Artist" persona: The pianist embraces his vulgarity as part of his identity and artistic expression.

Comedic Enrichment (New Joke):

Okay, here’s a ‘Did You Know’ that spins off the joke, playing on the absurdity of song titles:

Did you know… that avant-garde composer Erik Satie, famous for his minimalist piano pieces, was also a bit of a prankster? In one of his compositions, he instructed the pianist to repeat a short musical phrase 840 times. He titled it, "Vexations." Imagine if he’d been the guy at the bar! Instead of "Weasels Ate My Genitals," he’d be playing a breathtakingly beautiful melody called "Ode to the Lint in My Bellybutton," which he insists must be played exactly 732 times, no more, no less.

Explanation:

  • I’m using the real-life figure of Satie, a known eccentric, to introduce a parallel absurdity.
  • I retain the core element of beautiful music with a ridiculous title and a number of repetitions (840 from Satie’s ‘Vexations’).
  • The made-up Satie song title, "Ode to the Lint in My Bellybutton", echoes the original joke’s vulgarity while being slightly less offensive.
  • The "no more, no less" instruction adds another layer of Satie-esque, pedantic humor.
  • I’ve added a twist by referencing a real fact, making it feel like a potentially plausible, slightly-exaggerated artistic quirk.

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