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What are the bumps around the areola for?

Posted on July 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

They are brail for "suck here".

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” riffing on the original:

Joke Poo: What are the knobs on a touchscreen car radio for?

…They’re Braille for “Volume Down.”

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then lacto-ferment some new humor out of it.

Joke Dissection:

  • Core Idea: It’s a cheeky, anatomical innuendo using the Montgomery glands (the “bumps”) and linking them to sexual attraction through a playful (and anatomically incorrect) explanation.
  • Humor Source:
    • Impropriety: Sex is often a source of humor, particularly when discussed in a slightly vulgar or unexpected way.
    • Misinterpretation: Taking a factual (though perhaps less-known) part of anatomy and giving it a humorous, romantic, and suggestive purpose.
    • Wordplay/Analogy: The “braille” comparison is clever because braille provides direction through touch, mirroring the intended (fictional) function of the Montgomery glands.

Key Elements:

  1. Montgomery Glands (The Bumps): These are sebaceous glands around the areola. Their primary function is to secrete oils that lubricate and protect the nipple. They can become more prominent during pregnancy and breastfeeding.
  2. Braille: A tactile writing system used by visually impaired people. It relies on raised dots to represent letters and numbers.
  3. Sexual Suggestion (“Suck Here”): Direct, unashamed and playful call to sexual action.

Humor Enrichment & Creation:

Here’s a few possibilities to turn the original joke into something new:

Option 1: The Factual Callback

  • Witty Observation: “You know, it’s ironic. Montgomery glands secrete an oily substance to lubricate the nipple. So technically, they are giving directions… just not necessarily the romantic kind. More like ‘keep it moisturized, folks!'”
  • Did You Know: “Did you know that the prominence of Montgomery glands can vary greatly from person to person? So, some nipples are practically screaming ‘Suck Here’ in font size 72, while others are whispering it in fine print.”

Option 2: The Braille Puns

  • New Joke: “What did the frustrated braille reader say at the nudist colony? ‘All these bumps… and not a single page I can read!'”
  • New Joke: “My girlfriend left me because of my braille obsession. I didn’t see it coming.”

Option 3: The Absurd Extension

  • New Joke: “What are the bumps on a shark for? They are braille for ‘Do Not Pet’.”
  • Amusing Thought: “Imagine if other body parts came with Braille instructions. ‘Abs: For rigorous tickling, consult a qualified personal trainer.’ ‘Elbow: Warning, may cause stubbing.'”

Option 4: The Meta-Commentary

  • Observational Humor: “The Montgomery gland joke is the dad joke of female anatomy. Everyone knows it, it’s a little crude, but if delivered right, can still elicit a giggle. Also like dad jokes, it gets more prominence later in life.”

I tried to provide different ways to expand on the joke with additional layers of humor, by relating the original joke to real-world knowledge in surprising ways.

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