That sentence was way too long.
Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version:
Joke Poo: The Resume
I once knew a dog applying for a job as a therapy animal. He thought his calm demeanor and excellent “sit-stay” would impress them. But then the interviewer brought up a bunch of unforeseen skills needed – advanced emotional interpretation, crisis de-escalation training, and a proficiency in comfort-biting techniques. Add to that, the dog’s letter of recommendation was from a cat known for its passive-aggressive compliments, and suddenly…
That resume was way too long.
Alright, let’s break down this joke.
Core Elements:
- Premise: A guy arrested on drug charges receives a disproportionately long sentence due to accumulating bogus charges and incompetent legal representation.
- Punchline: The sentence, ironically, is excessively long.
- Humor Type: Situational irony, self-referential humor, dark humor (mildly). The joke relies on the absurdity of a sentence being literally too long, mirroring the unfairly long prison sentence in the story.
Interesting Tidbits to Enrich the Humor:
- Sentence Length Statistics: The average sentence length in published English is around 15-20 words. Sentences over 30 words are considered long, and anything pushing 50+ is generally seen as needing revision.
- Legal Jargon & Complexity: Legal documents and contracts are notorious for their long, convoluted sentences, often designed to be ambiguous or difficult to understand for the layperson.
- “Bogus Charges” Reality: The reality of “piling on” charges is a serious issue in the justice system. Overcharging can pressure defendants into plea deals, regardless of actual guilt.
New Humor Pieces:
1. A Meta-Joke:
A lawyer was writing a legal brief about the importance of concise language. The first sentence read: “It is of the utmost imperative that legal professionals, in the pursuit of justice and clarity, should endeavor to eschew excessively verbose and unnecessarily prolix phraseology, thereby ensuring optimal comprehension for all stakeholders involved in the legal proceedings, unless, of course, obfuscation is strategically advantageous to their client’s position, in which case, ambiguity is not merely permissible, but rather, an indispensable tool in the jurisprudential arsenal…” He paused, sighed, and added a footnote: “This sentence will serve as Exhibit A.”
Why it works:
- Plays on the legal jargon aspect.
- Self-aware humor about the lawyer’s hypocrisy.
- Highlights the strategic use of confusing language in law.
2. A Witty Observation (Did you know?):
Did you know? The longest sentence ever written appears in Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables and spans 823 words! It’s about the history of sewers in Paris. Talk about serving time…for reading! In fairness, you probably get a shorter sentence for actual crimes in some jurisdictions.
Why it works:
- Connects the “long sentence” joke to actual long sentences in literature.
- Contrasts the tediousness of a long sentence with the potentially lighter punishment for actual crimes.
- Adds an element of educational humor (people might not know about the Les Miserables sentence).
3. A Short, Absurdist Joke:
Why did the judge sentence the sentence to community service? Because it was way too run-on and needed to learn to cooperate with a period.
Why it works:
- Purely silly wordplay.
- Personifies the “sentence” as a criminal.
- Relies on the double meaning of “sentence.”