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Fake Poo

St.Peter Decides He’s Accepting Only Amusing Cases To Heaven…

Posted on July 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

…as he's bored with all the people's typical deaths and wants to shake it up, just for one day.

First person is at the Gates. Peter says "I'm letting you in only if your death was interesting"

"Ohhh, I have a good one for you Sir!". I was fixing the roof of this 5-story building, but I slipped and…"

"Boooring…"

"No, but you see, on the way down I grabbed the balcony railing. My hands were slipping. A man walked up to me and said "There you are!". I thought he'd offer me a hand but he stepped on my fingers instead and I fell. Thought I was dead but I fell in some bushes. Just as I was about to get up, the guy above dropped this giant fridge on me and killed me"

"Oh! Now that's the one I haven't heard before, go in!"

Second person to walk in, Peter tells him what's up.

"Oh, I have an interesting one! I come home early from work and see my wife all blushing, sweaty and naked! I knew what was up and asked her "Where is he?!". I looked in tge closet, under the bed, in the bathroom, but bastard was nowhere to be found. Then I walk to the balcony and I see him hanging, thought to hide from me that way. Sent him down but bastard fell in some bushes. Adrenaline hit me and I carried and dropped my fridge on him to finish him, but I got the stroke and died"

"Wow! You're in! Next!"

Third man walks up. Peter repeats the condition, only interesting deaths get in.

"Mine is a bit weird sir. You see, after a good steamy sex I like to cool myself off in the fridge, and…"

"You're in!"

Joke Poo: The IT Helpdesk’s Backlog

The IT Helpdesk manager, Brenda, declares she’s only resolving tickets with bizarre issues today. “I’m drowning in password resets and ‘printer not working’ complaints. I need some spice!”

First user calls: “Brenda, I need help. My computer suddenly started displaying everything in Klingon, even the error messages.”

Brenda sighs. “Okay, unusual but not exactly fascinating.”

“Wait, there’s more! I tried using Google Translate, but it translated Klingon back into English as recipe for Gagh! Then my computer EXPLODED in a cloud of suspiciously slimy, wriggling green noodles!”

“Alright, noodle explosion, you’re through to Tier 2 support!”

Second user calls: “Brenda, you won’t believe this. I came back from lunch and my monitor was on. But instead of showing my work, it was live-streaming a badger wearing my tie meticulously auditing my spreadsheets!”

Brenda groans. “Okay, cute, but what’s the problem?”

“The badger’s doing a better job than I ever did! He found three years worth of accounting errors! Corporate Security is on their way to my desk! Help!”

“Badger audit? You’re escalated!”

Third user calls: “Brenda, I’ve got a weird one. I went to make coffee, and when I came back, my keyboard had a tiny holographic badger projected from it, also wearing a tie, and…”

Brenda interrupts: “Is it auditing spreadsheets?”

“No, it’s just stirring my coffee with a tiny audit report! It’s even added a little latte art of a spreadsheet!”

Brenda throws her hands up. “You’re in!”

Alright, let’s dissect this triple-death joke and then amp up the humor!

Joke Breakdown:

  • Setup: St. Peter, bored with typical deaths, sets an “interesting death” entrance requirement for Heaven for one day.
  • First Death (Building Repairman): A seemingly mundane fall is escalated by a bizarre chain of events: a bystander deliberately steps on his fingers, a soft landing, and then the final blow of a refrigerator. The humor comes from the escalating absurdity.
  • Second Death (Jealous Husband): A classic cuckold scenario leads to attempted murder and an ironically fatal stroke. The humor is in the karma and the unexpected escalation of the situation.
  • Third Death (Man in the Fridge): A brief and unexpected punchline revealing a shocking situation of the man who got caught in the act. The humor is in the unexpected explanation of the whole story, and the abrupt acceptance by St. Peter.
  • Underlying Themes: Irony, escalating absurdity, karma, and dark humor.

Comedic Enrichment & Amplification:

Based on the elements of the original joke, especially the “refrigerator death,” let’s introduce a “Did You Know?” that ties into the refrigerator theme, but with a twist.

New Humor Piece: A Witty Observation with a “Did You Know?” Element

“You know, modern refrigerators are statistically safer than dying from roofing accidents, infidelity-induced strokes, and being a secret fridge-chiller, combined. Still, I’d suggest avoiding them as hiding places or post-coital cooling chambers.”

“Did You Know? While refrigerators have become considerably lighter than they were in the past (reducing the likelihood of a sudden fridge-related death), they now contain significantly more food past its expiration date. A 2023 study showed that, on average, a household refrigerator contains enough questionable yogurt to take down a small village. So, technically, the potential for fridge-related death has increased exponentially, just in a more subtle, probiotic-fueled way.”

Todays SH1T Jokes

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