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Two vampires

Posted on July 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

One vampire says to the other:
“I’m starving, man! I really need some fresh blood!”

The other replies:
“You better hurry, the sun’s almost up!”

“Okay, be right back!”
He flies out the window.

Two minutes later he returns, face and mouth covered in blood.

The other vampire stares:
“Whoa, that was fast! How the hell did you do that?”

The first vampire walks to the window, points outside, and says:
“You see that big streetlamp across the street?”

“Yeah, I see it.”

“Well… I didn’t.”

Joke Poo: The Intern Architect

Two architects are huddled over blueprints late at night.

One architect says to the other:
“I’m so exhausted, man! I really need a breakthrough design idea!”

The other replies:
“You better hurry, the deadline’s tomorrow morning!”

“Okay, be right back!” He rushes out of the office.

Two minutes later he returns, his face and hands covered in charcoal smudges and eraser crumbs.

The other architect stares:
“Whoa, that was fast! How the hell did you do that?”

The first architect walks to the window, points outside, and says:
“You see that big, beautiful, perfectly scaled building across the street?”

“Yeah, I see it.”

“Well… I didn’t.”

Okay, let’s sink our teeth into this joke.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: Establishes a typical vampire scenario: hunger, urgency (sunrise approaching), and a need for blood.
  • Twist: The listener expects a clever hunting strategy or a vulnerable victim. Instead, the vampire’s success is due to a hilariously simple, almost clumsy mistake – flying headfirst into a streetlamp.
  • Humor: The humor derives from:
    • Subversion of Expectations: Instead of cunning, we get utter lack of spatial awareness.
    • Irony: A creature of the night, known for its senses, is thwarted by a light.
    • Understatement: The “Well… I didn’t.” delivery is key. It’s nonchalant despite the gruesome outcome.

Key Elements:

  1. Vampires: Creatures of the night, traditionally powerful, elegant, and cunning.
  2. Blood: Their source of sustenance, often obtained through predatory means.
  3. Sunlight: A deadly weakness.
  4. Streetlamp: A modern light source, representing artificial light interfering with the natural order (and a vampire’s flight path).
  5. Visual Misunderstanding: The humor hinges on the visual of a vampire covered in blood, resulting from an unfortunate collision.

Comedic Enrichment: Did You Know?

Did you know that the fear of light, photophobia, is a real condition? Imagine being a vampire, but instead of sunlight being lethal, it’s just an intense migraine waiting to happen whenever you accidentally stumble across a particularly well-lit TikTok video. Talk about a pain in the neck!

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