A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house.
Sent to me by someone calling it “malicious compliance.”
Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
Joke Poo: Unusual Pet Values
A dog owner was having an affair… with the neighbor’s prize-winning poodle, Fifi. One sunny afternoon, their forbidden love reached its peak in the dog park. Exhausted from their romp, they both collapsed into a blissful nap, waking up just as dusk settled.
The dog owner, panicking, grabbed Fifi and said, “Listen, Fifi, I need you to do something for me. Go roll around in that mud puddle and then get a bunch of leaves stuck in your fur.” Fifi, confused but eager to please, followed his instructions. He then slipped her back under the fence and hurried home.
“Where have you been?!” demanded his wife when he walked in.
“Darling,” replied the man, “I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair… with Fifi, the neighbor’s poodle. We fell asleep in the dog park and didn’t wake up until late.”
The wife looked down at the muddy, leafy poodle he had inadvertently tracked into the house and exclaimed, “You liar! You’ve been burying bones again!”
Alright, let’s analyze this joke and then mine it for comedic gold.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A married man has an affair with his secretary. They go to her house, sleep, and wake up late.
- Twist/Punchline: The man instructs the secretary to dirty his shoes to create a plausible alibi. However, his wife immediately sees through the ruse and identifies the real cover story: golf.
- Humor: The humor stems from the following:
- Ironic Failure: The man’s attempt at deception backfires spectacularly.
- Stereotype Subversion: We expect the wife to believe the affair story, but she’s far more suspicious of golf, potentially playing on stereotypes of golfers being “shady” characters or spending excessive time on the course.
- Underlying Tension: The joke touches on themes of infidelity, suspicion, and marital discord, providing a relatable (though exaggerated) context.
- Malicious Compliance implication: The person sending this named it “malicious compliance”, the implication is that the wife knows about the affair and is sarcastically accusing the man of playing golf as a sort of revenge.
Key Elements for Exploitation:
- The Alibi: The focus is on the manufactured alibi and its effectiveness (or lack thereof).
- Golf: The unexpected accusation of playing golf.
New Comedic Content – Option 1: Witty Observation (playing on the golf angle):
“You know you’re addicted to golf when your spouse prefers you’re having an affair. At least that explains why you haven’t done the dishes in three months.”
New Comedic Content – Option 2: Amended Joke/Twist (playing on the absurdity):
A man is having an affair. He wakes up late. His secretary carefully rubs his shoes in a very specific mixture of fertilizers, soil, and rare bentgrass seeds. He gets home, his wife sniffs his shoes. “You liar! You’ve been at Augusta again! And you told me you were done gambling!”
New Comedic Content – Option 3: “Did You Know?” Style
“Did you know that the ‘golf widow’ phenomenon is so prevalent, some therapists actually recommend couples learn to play together? It’s either that or the secretary learns to tee off. Less time on the green, more time greenlighting quality time, am I right?”
New Comedic Content – Option 4: Extended Alibi Humor
A man’s having an affair. He knows he’s late. He also knows his wife is a forensic accountant. He considers the dirt alibi, then rejects it as amateurish. He spends two hours painstakingly creating a believable set of financial records that indicate he’s been at a work conference in Luxembourg, complete with fake receipts for tiny portions of sausages and slightly-too-expensive mineral water. He gets home. His wife raises an eyebrow. “Luxembourg? You hate sausage, and you know water is free at the office. You’ve been LARPing again, haven’t you? Did you finally get to be the Grand Elven Overlord? Just tell me! Was it Steve from accounting, or did you go with that weird online group again?”