"I’m not sleeping well. I have nightmares about a monster under my bed and I am too embarrassed to seek help."
A patron nearby overhears this and introduces himself.
"I overheard your story and I am a psychiatrist. Maybe I can help. The first thing is you recognize these are only dreams, and that is obvious so I should be able to help you in a few sessions. Here’s my card, give me a call."
A few weeks pass and the same two are once again at the bar after work. The psychiatrist says to the other guy, "Hi, how goes the nightmares? I never heard from you so I hope you are doing OK."
The other guy says, "Things are great, the bartender helped me."
The psychiatrist, curious, asked him, "The bartender helped you? You needed a trained professional to help you, what could a bartender do that a psychiatrist couldn’t?"
The other guy says, "He told me to saw the legs off my bed."
Joke Poo: The Plumber’s Solution
A woman, completely distraught, is sitting in a packed emergency room waiting area, clutching her stomach. A kind-looking doctor notices her distress and approaches.
“You look like you’re in terrible pain,” he says. “What seems to be the problem?”
The woman whispers, “I’m so embarrassed to say, but I keep having these awful dreams. I dream that a giant octopus lives in my toilet and tries to pull me down the drain. I’m terrified to use the bathroom!”
An older gentleman nearby, wearing a plumber’s uniform, overhears the conversation and chimes in, “Excuse me, ma’am, I couldn’t help but hear. I’m a plumber. Maybe I can offer some advice. Sounds like a problem with the plumbing itself. Here’s my card, give me a call.”
A few weeks later, the doctor and the plumber bump into each other at the local hardware store. The doctor asks, “Hey, did you ever hear from that woman with the octopus nightmares? I hope she’s doing alright.”
The plumber smiles. “Oh, yeah! Things are much better for her. She called me, said it was a lifesaver!”
The doctor, bewildered, says, “A lifesaver? I was going to prescribe her medication for anxiety. What could a plumber possibly do to help with nightmares about an octopus in her toilet?”
The plumber winks. “I told her to install a bidet. Now the octopus has something else to play with.”
Alright, let’s get this joke under the microscope!
Dissection of the Joke:
- Premise: Man has monster under bed, seeks (unintentionally) help from a psychiatrist.
- Setup: Establishes the problem (nightmares) and the potential solution (psychiatrist). Highlights the man’s initial reluctance and embarrassment.
- Twist: The “cure” comes from an unexpected source (the bartender).
- Punchline: The solution is absurdly simple and literal (“saw the legs off my bed”). This subverts the expectation of complex psychological intervention.
- Humor Type: Irony, Absurdity, and a little bit of schadenfreude at the expense of the psychiatrist.
Key Elements:
- Monster Under the Bed: Symbolizes irrational fears, childhood anxieties persisting into adulthood.
- Psychiatrist: Represents professional help, a scientific approach to mental health.
- Bartender: Represents common sense, practical solutions, and perhaps a more down-to-earth perspective.
- Surgical Bed Alteration: Represents simplistic ‘fix’, avoiding psychological problems
Comedic Enrichment:
Now, let’s leverage this to create some new humor…
Option 1: A “Did You Know?” Inspired Observation
“Did you know that the ‘monster under the bed’ is a surprisingly common motif in folklore across cultures? But oddly, the most effective remedy, according to a recent study conducted entirely at a single bar, isn’t cognitive behavioral therapy, but rather structural bed modifications. Apparently, Freud forgot to consider the impact of gravity on nocturnal terrors. Perhaps he had a bad experience getting his bed from Ikea.”
Option 2: Alternate punchline with Freudian twist
The psychiatrist, curious, asked him, “The bartender helped you? You needed a trained professional to help you, what could a bartender do that a psychiatrist couldn’t?”
The other guy says, “He told me to saw the legs off my bed. Said I was just afraid of castration.”
Option 3: A related Joke.
Why did the psychiatrist refuse to treat the carpenter?
Because he knew he’d just end up sawing his patients in half!
Option 4: Witty observation
The real problem in this story is clearly that the psychiatrist offered help before establishing a billable hour rate. No wonder the guy went with the free advice. In the mental health field, that’s the real nightmare fuel.
Explanation of Choices:
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Option 1 plays on the absurdity of the joke by framing it as a scientific study and throwing in an Ikea joke.
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Option 2 leverages Freud to further the psychoanalysis humor.
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Option 3 is just a simple pun-based joke related to the key element of carpentry.
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Option 4 pokes fun at the financial realities of seeking professional help, adding a layer of social commentary to the original joke’s humor.