Three Russian men were sent by their company to attend a convention in Moscow. All 3 shared a hotel room. Two of them cracked open a bottle of vodka, but the third just wanted to sleep.
The two drinkers got louder and louder as the bottle emptied, telling each other political jokes. The third was kept awake, and got angry.
He went outside for a smoke. On his way back to his room, he stopped at the desk and said 'Please send a pot of tea up to room 23.'
The two drunks were still being loud. The third man went in, looked at them, then leaned over to the light socket 'Comrade Major, please send some tea to my room.'
The other men thought this was hilarious…until there was a knock on the door, and a waiter with a pot of tea.
They became completely silent, and the third man fell asleep.
When he woke up in the morning, he was alone. He went to the front desk, and asked where his roommates were.
'Well, the KGB came this morning and took them away.'
The man was horrified 'Why did they spare me?!?'
"The comrade major thought the tea joke was very funny."
Joke Poo: The Algorithm’s Approval
Three software engineers were sent by their company to a tech conference in Silicon Valley. They shared a hotel room. Two of them cracked open a six-pack of craft beer and started live-coding. The third just wanted to optimize his sleep schedule.
The two coders got louder and louder as the beers emptied, debating the merits of different Javascript frameworks. The third was kept awake and got annoyed.
He went to the hotel gym for a run. On his way back, he stopped at the front desk and said, "Please flag room 23 for a wellness check."
The two coders were still arguing about React vs. Vue. The third man went in, looked at them, then leaned over to his open laptop and typed into the command line: "Hey Siri, tell Alexa I need a wellness check in this room."
The other men thought this was ridiculous…until there was a knock on the door, and a hotel employee with a fresh fruit basket and a pamphlet on mindfulness.
They became completely silent, and the third man put on his sleep mask.
When he woke up in the morning, he was alone. He went to the front desk and asked where his roommates were.
"Well, the Data Ethics Oversight Committee came this morning and took them away."
The man was horrified. "Why did they spare me?!?!"
"The algorithm thought your wellness check joke was ‘authentic’ and ‘deserving of a mental health break’."
Okay, let’s break down this Soviet-era joke and then inject some comedic enrichment.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Elements:
- The Soviet Setting: The oppressive atmosphere of the Soviet Union, with the ever-present threat of the KGB.
- Political Jokes: Implicitly dangerous, as even telling them in private could have consequences.
- Fear and Paranoia: A key element of life under Soviet rule.
- Bureaucratic Absurdity: The unexpected follow-through on the ‘joke’ request for tea highlights the convoluted system.
- The Twist Ending: The ‘comrade major’ enjoying the joke is the punchline, highlighting both the power of the state and the unpredictable nature of its application.
Factual/Interesting Tidbits for Enrichment:
- Tea and Soviet Culture: Tea was immensely popular in the Soviet Union. It was more than just a beverage; it was a ritual, a social lubricant, and a symbol of hospitality. Special tea glasses (podstakanniki) were common on trains.
- KGB Tactics: The KGB had a network of informers, some willing, some coerced. They employed various methods of surveillance, including bugs and wiretaps, but also relied on simple eavesdropping. The joke plays on the idea that even light sockets could be bugged.
- Political Jokes as a Form of Resistance: While dangerous, telling political jokes was a common, albeit risky, way to express dissent and find common ground. It was a form of catharsis and a subtle act of rebellion.
- The "Comrade Major" Character: The ambiguity of the "Comrade Major" is key. Was he a high-ranking official with a sense of humor, or a low-level operative trying to impress his superiors by demonstrating vigilance (but then deciding to be entertained)?
Comedic Enrichment: A New Joke
Given the Soviet era joke that was shared, here is another joke that is in line:
A Soviet man is rushing to the store. On his way, he notices a police car pull up to a suspicious individual on the street.
The officer approaches the man and asks "What is your name?"
The man replies "My name is Ivan."
The officer proceeds to ask the man what he does for a living and Ivan replies "I’m a carpenter."
The police officer nods slowly and asks "Tell me, Ivan, what are you up to on this fine day?"
Ivan looks around nervously and says "I am headed to the store."
The police officer proceeds to ask what he is purchasing at the store, to which Ivan replies "I am buying wood."
The police officer asks "why are you buying wood?"
Ivan replies "I am building a table."
The police officer asks "What are you going to do with this table?"
Ivan replies "I am going to put it in my house."
The police officer asks "What are you going to do with the table in your house?"
Ivan begins sweating as he says "I plan on having tea on the table."
The police officer looks at Ivan in the eyes and says "With friends?"
Ivan nervously smiles and nods his head in agreement.
The police officer sighs, lets out a chuckle and says "Alright comrade, carry on."
Why This is Funny:
- The man is overly paranoid about a seemingly harmless interaction.
- The absurdity of the questioning highlights the pervasive suspicion in Soviet society.
- The joke is made in relation to the original joke, but is modernized to apply to the current day (e.g., buying a table instead of requesting tea).