Everything but my earrings!

Original Joke:

During a promotional sales event I asked the commissioned jewelry sales clerk how much she would take off if I bought 5 different pieces and she replied, “Everything but my earrings”!

Joke Poo: Everything But My Feathers!

At the annual Bird Breeders Convention, I approached a parrot salesman with a particularly flamboyant macaw, shimmering with iridescent colors. I asked him, “If I were to buy this magnificent bird, what discounts could you possibly offer me?” He ruffled the macaw’s feathers, gave me a wink, and said, “Everything but my feathers!” (Because he’s a parrot too).

Okay, here’s my analysis and comedic augmentation of the joke:

Joke Dissection:

• Setup: A customer asks a jewelry sales clerk how much of a discount she would give for buying multiple pieces.
• Punchline: The clerk replies, “Everything but my earrings!”
• Humor Mechanism:
  • Unexpected Literalness: The customer expects a numerical or percentage-based discount. The clerk’s response is a hyperbole, suggesting a ridiculously large discount and the joke lies in the clerk’s response being taken literally.
  • Irony: Jewelry sales clerks typically benefit from increased sales volume, so the offer seems self-defeating (though obviously, not meant literally).
  • Implied value: The salesperson cares more about the value of her earrings than making the sale.

Key Elements:

1. Jewelry: The core subject matter.
2. Sales Clerk: The profession and its inherent expectation of making sales.
3. Discount: The financial incentive being negotiated.
4. Earrings: The specific item representing the clerk’s personal value/attachment.
5. Literal vs. Figurative: The contrast between expected discounts and the hyperbolic statement.

Comedic Enrichment (New Joke/Observation/Did You Know):

Option 1: “Did You Know?” (Playing on Jewelry Value)

“Did you know that the Hope Diamond, valued at around \$250 million, is rumored to bring bad luck to its owners? That explains why the jewelry sales clerk wouldn’t part with her earrings—she probably knows what she’s got! Forget about the hope diamond. The hope is in the clerk’s earrings!”

Option 2: New Joke (Playing on Sales Tactics):

“I went to a car dealership, and the salesman kept offering me more and more discounts. I said, ‘Are you sure you can keep dropping the price like this?’ He winked and said, ‘Buddy, I’ll give you everything but my tie! It’s the only thing keeping my soul from being repossessed by the bank!'”

Option 3: Witty Observation (Playing on Literal vs. Figurative):

“The problem with asking for a discount these days is that people take ‘everything’ literally. Try asking a magician for a discount on a trick. He’ll disappear… along with your wallet.”

Explanation of why these work:

• Option 1: This leverages the “earrings” element and connects it to the broader world of valuable jewelry and the quirks surrounding it, it uses a well-known piece of jewelry that is so expensive people avoid it.
• Option 2: This adapts the original joke’s structure (request for a discount, absurdly high offer) to a different sales environment. The humor relies on hyperbole and the salesman’s desperate situation.
• Option 3: This uses the literal vs. figurative contrast in a new context, highlighting how people misinterpret language and the trickery often associated with marketing.

Each option attempts to build upon the foundation of the original joke, either by enriching the context, re-framing the humor, or expanding the premise to new scenarios.