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I just want to let you know I have a record breaking penis.

Posted on August 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

In other news, I'm not allowed in the music store anymore.

Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” version of that joke:

Joke Poo: The Sculpture Garden

I just want to let you know I have a record-breaking butt.

In other news, I’m not allowed in the sculpture garden anymore.

Okay, let’s break down this joke and then see if we can spin it into something fresh.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: The setup establishes a seemingly boastful claim of a “record-breaking penis.” This sets up an expectation of… well, a very large penis.
  • Punchline: The second line reveals the true (and humorous) meaning of “record-breaking.” It’s not about size, but about damaging records (vinyl records) in a music store.
  • Humor Mechanism: The joke relies on a pun (playing on the double meaning of “record”) and misdirection. We expect one meaning of “record-breaking,” but get another, much sillier one. There’s also an element of unexpected juxtaposition – the grand claim of a record-breaking penis clashes with the mundane (and slightly embarrassing) reality of clumsily breaking records.

Key Elements:

  • “Record”: The core of the joke’s ambiguity. It can mean a documented achievement OR a vinyl disc.
  • “Music Store”: The setting provides the context for the alternative meaning of “record.”
  • “Penis” (Implied): Serves as the red herring, leading the listener to a sexual interpretation before swerving into something non-sexual.
  • Clumsiness: The implied clumsiness and lack of dexterity.

Humor Enrichment Ideas:

1. Alternative Punchline (Different type of Misdirection):

  • “I just want to let you know I have a record-breaking penis.”
    • “Yeah, it breaks a lot of records… dating records, that is. People don’t usually stick around for a second date.” (Here, “record” becomes about relationship length).

2. A “Did You Know” Play:

  • “Did you know that the average vinyl record is only about 0.06 inches thick? Which explains why mine break so easily when I try to…” (Pause for effect) “…you know… dance enthusiastically near them.”

3. Witty Observation:

  • “It’s funny how ‘record-breaking’ can be either an incredible achievement or an incredibly awkward incident at your local vintage record store. The line between legend and public nuisance is surprisingly thin.”

4. New Joke Structure (Playing on Expectations):

  • “Why did the guy get banned from the music store?
    Because he claimed to have a ‘record-breaking’ penis, and then proceeded to prove it… by awkwardly juggling a stack of Beatles albums.”

5. A record-related pun:

  • “I told my doctor I broke a vinyl record with my penis. He said I need to get my life in groove.”

I think the original joke is fairly simple but effective, especially because of its brevity. Adding too much detail could actually hurt the humor. But using some of these elements, we can explore the gag from different angles!

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