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Fake Poo

Horny dogs…

Posted on August 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

Her dog came in heat and she was concerned about keeping it and her other male dog separated. But she had a large house and believed that she could keep the two apart.

However, as she was drifting off to sleep that night, she heard growling and moaning sounds, and rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together and unable to disengage (as frequently happens when dogs mate).

Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, and although very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.

After she explained the situation to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw".

"Do you think that will work?" she asked.

"Just worked for me." he replied.

Joke Poo: Annoying Alarm

A woman was having trouble getting her toddler to stay in his crib. He was constantly climbing out, and she feared for his safety. She tried everything: raising the crib rails, putting toys in there, even threatening to take away his favorite blanket. Nothing worked.

Exhausted, she called her pediatrician late one night. “Doctor, I’m at my wit’s end! My son keeps escaping his crib. I’m terrified he’ll get hurt! What can I do?”

The pediatrician, sounding completely exhausted, mumbled, “Hang up the phone and place it in the crib with him. I’ll call you back, and the annoying ringtone my office uses will scare him so badly he won’t dare move.”

“Do you really think that will work?” she asked, skeptical.

“Just worked for me,” he replied, and promptly hung up.

Alright, let’s break down this horny dog joke and see what comedic gold we can refine from it.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: A woman’s dogs accidentally mate, causing them to become physically stuck. She seeks help from a grumpy, late-night vet.
  • Setup: The situation is established: dogs stuck, frantic owner, grumpy vet. The vet proposes a strange solution based on phone ringing causing the male dog to lose his erection.
  • Punchline: The vet’s response reveals he’s using the phone ringing method on himself (presumably because the woman’s call woke him up and gave him an unwanted erection). It’s a self-deprecating and unexpected twist.
  • Humor Source: The humor comes from the absurdity of the situation, the vet’s grumpy state, and the sudden shift to a personal, slightly embarrassing situation for the vet. The shock value of realizing the vet’s “cure” is for himself.

Key Elements for Comedic Enrichment:

  • Dog Mating (and the “Tie”): The physical reality of dogs getting stuck during mating.
  • Grumpy Vet: The trope of the overworked, underappreciated medical professional.
  • Unexpected Erection: The randomness and potential embarrassment of an unwanted erection.
  • Sound as Distraction: Using a ringing phone as a supposed method to break the “tie.”

New Humorous Take (Witty Observation):

Did you know that the “dog tie” after mating is actually caused by the bulbus glandis in the male dog swelling? It’s like nature’s way of saying, “This is happening, whether you like it or not.” It probably doesn’t help if the vet on the other end of the phone is already dealing with his own bulbus glandis situation. I mean, maybe the lady should have just started playing Wagner. Nothing kills an erection faster than the Ring Cycle.

Explanation:

  1. Fun Fact: I introduced a real fact about the bulbus glandis in dogs, creating a slightly educational but amusing opener.
  2. Connection to the Joke: I tied this fact back to the original joke by referencing the “dog tie” and suggesting the vet may be dealing with his own situation
  3. Adding absurdity: Used a little hyperbole to suggest Wagner can kill any erection, adding to the comedic value. It’s a nonsensical statement that adds to the humor.

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