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Small town gets a new cow

Posted on August 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta. The cow was wonderful.

It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do.

They told the rabbi what was happening; "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side." The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Alberta?" The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Alberta?"

The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Alberta."

Joke Poo: The Picky Pylon

The only cell tower in a remote Scottish village stopped transmitting a strong signal. The villagers researched and found they could buy a refurbished Ericsson tower from Glasgow for £10,000, or a newer Huawei tower from Aberdeen for £8,000. Being frugal (and a bit suspicious of foreign technology), they bought the Ericsson from Glasgow. The tower was a marvel.

It provided a clear, strong signal constantly, and the people were ecstatic. They decided to acquire a new fiber optic cable connection to boost the tower’s bandwidth and produce even faster internet speeds. Then they would never have to worry about buffering again.

They paid to have a new fiber cable installed and connected it to their beloved tower. However, whenever the cable tried to connect to the tower’s interface, the interface would reject it. No matter what type of connector the technicians tried, the interface would reject the cable and they couldn’t succeed in their connection quest. The people were very frustrated and decided to ask the local Laird, who was very experienced with electronics.

They explained what was happening; “Whenever the cable approaches our tower, the interface rejects it. If they approach the connector from the top, the interface moves the pins down. When they approach from the bottom, the interface moves the pins up. An approach from the side, and it just aligns to the other side.” The Laird thought for a minute and asked, “Did you buy this tower from Glasgow?” The people were flabbergasted. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the tower. “You are truly a tech-savvy Laird! How did you know we got the tower from Glasgow?”

The Laird sighed and said, “My car’s USB port is from Glasgow.”

Alright, let’s dissect this joke!

Key Elements:

  • Setup: A small town needs a cow and buys one from Alberta, Canada, because it’s cheaper.
  • Premise: The Alberta cow is amazing, leading to the need for a bull.
  • Obstacle: The cow refuses to mate with the bull.
  • Rabbi’s Wisdom: The townsfolk consult the rabbi, who astoundingly knows the cow’s origin.
  • Punchline: The rabbi’s wife is also from Alberta, implying the wife’s similar behavior.

Humor Source:

The humor lies in the surprising (and stereotypical) comparison between the cow’s behavior and the rabbi’s wife’s behavior, both originating from Alberta. It’s a classic “battle of the sexes” joke with a geographically specific twist.

Comedic Enrichment & New Material:

Okay, let’s milk this (pun intended) for some more humor!

1. Witty Observation/Alternative Punchline:

“Maybe they should have sprung for the BC cow. At least she’d have been willing to negotiate a union.” (This plays on BC’s reputation for strong labor unions and the double meaning of “union.”)

2. Did You Know? (Enhanced with humor):

“Did you know that Alberta has a higher percentage of beef cattle per capita than any other Canadian province? Apparently, a certain stubbornness runs in the family, bovine and otherwise!”

3. New Joke Idea:

A Saskatchewan farmer is having the same problem with his bull and a cow from Alberta. He’s pulling his hair out. He calls his friend, a Manitoba farmer, for advice. The Manitoba farmer says, “Simple. Just play her some Nickelback. They’re from Hanna, Alberta. That’ll drive her straight into the arms of the bull, just to get away from the music!”

(Explanation): This plays on a few things:

  • The ongoing friendly rivalry between Canadian provinces.
  • Nickelback’s… unique reception as a rock band.
  • The stereotype that Nickelback is from Alberta (Hanna is a town in Alberta).
  • The idea of using something repulsive to compel an action.

4. Playing with the Setup:

Instead of milk, what if the cow produced something else? Like…

  • Oil: “They got the Alberta cow and were amazed at the oil production… but then came the environmental regulations.”
  • Maple Syrup: “They were overjoyed! But then the Quebec government sent a strongly worded letter.”
  • Really good poutine: “It was amazing, but all the locals ended up with sodium-related health problems.”

The humor here comes from twisting the expected outcome (milk) into something unexpected that also relates to Alberta.

In summary: The original joke uses surprise and stereotypical association to create humor. Building upon this, we can enhance the humor by playing with alternative punchlines, adding factual but humorous tidbits, creating new jokes that expand on the core idea, or altering the setup in a surprising way.

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