What Is Vlad The Impaler’s Favorite Joke?

So a bar goes into this guy…

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” playing on the absurdity and morbid humor of the original:

Joke Poo: What’s a Dung Beetle’s Favorite Pickup Line?

So, this pile of manure goes into a dimly lit beetle bar. The place is crawling (naturally). He spots a particularly plump and fragrant patty sitting alone at the end of the, well, stool. He rolls right up and says, “Hey, baby… are you free tonight? Because I’ve got a real special place for you in my heart… and in my sphere.”

Alright, let’s dissect this bloody funny joke.

Analysis:

Premise: The joke is a setup, aiming for a punchline based on Vlad the Impaler’s notorious reputation for impaling people.
Wordplay/Expectation Subversion: The setup “So a bar goes into this guy…” immediately conjures the image of a bar entering someone’s body. Given Vlad’s history, the expectation is gruesome, involving a sharpened stake.
Anticipated Punchline: The implied punchline would likely involve some variation of Vlad impaling someone. The humor derives from the dark absurdity of his actions and the play on words.

Key Elements:

Vlad the Impaler: Historical figure known for extreme cruelty and his preferred method of execution: impalement.
“Bar”: The double meaning of “bar” (a long, rigid piece of metal/wood and a drinking establishment) is the foundation of the entire joke.
Impalement: The act of piercing a body with a sharp stake or pole, associated with torture and execution.

Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:

Now, let’s leverage these elements for some new laughs. Here are a few options:

Option 1: Witty Observation/Did You Know:

“Did you know that Vlad the Impaler’s infamous impalement methods might have been a (sick) form of population control? Back then, Romanian bars were really hard to regulate. It’s believed that Vlad was simply trying to cut down on alcohol-related incidents. Early forms of quality control involved very sharp sticks.”

Option 2: Alternate Punchline:

“What is Vlad the Impaler’s favorite joke? So a bar goes into this guy… and Vlad says, ‘Finally, a place with decent acoustics for my lute practice!'”

Option 3: Absurdist Twist:

“What is Vlad the Impaler’s favorite joke? So a bar goes into this guy… turns out it’s a mobile bar, and Vlad has to chase it across Wallachia while screaming about ‘last call’ and waving a very pointy stick. Gets a bit messy, but eventually everyone has a good time.”

Option 4: A Vlad the Impaler Joke Review
“Vlad the Impaler was asked to review this joke at a local open mic night. He said, ‘While the setup had a certain point, the execution lacked penetration. One star.'”

Explanation of choices:

Option 1 (Witty Observation): This adds a layer of historical context to the dark humor, suggesting a (obviously absurd) justification for Vlad’s actions.
Option 2 (Alternate Punchline): This subverts the grim expectation with a completely unexpected and silly scenario.
Option 3 (Absurdist Twist): This leans into the ridiculousness of the situation, creating a bizarre and surreal visual.
Option 4 (Joke Review): This one is my favorite as it breaks the fourth wall and uses wordplay based on the original joke to provide a review.

The key is to either lean into the darkness with a surprising twist or completely undermine the grim anticipation with absurdity. I chose to do both, for optimal comedic impact.