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An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Indian man

Posted on August 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

meet innocently enough in the waiting room of the local maternity ward in the 1950s.

While they are making small talk, a panicked nurse comes running and tells them that there has been a mixup and now the hospital cannot track whose baby is whose.

The men are obviously upset and outraged at this gross incompetence. The Englishman, ever the strategist, suggests that each go in and identify their child as it should be obvious.

"To set an example, i will go in and come out with my correct child," says the Englishman.

He soon walks out with what is clearly the Indian baby.

The Indian asks, "umm what are doing? That's clearly my kid."

The Englishman exclaims, "well, one of the other two babies is a French kid, and i will be damned if i walk out with it!"

Joke Poo: The Tech Support Line

An American, a Russian, and a Japanese programmer are all stuck on hold with a notoriously bad tech support line for a critical piece of software. They’ve been waiting for hours, their projects grinding to a halt.

Finally, a frazzled support agent answers. She explains that due to a catastrophic server crash, their system can’t identify which account belongs to whom.

The programmers are furious, but the American, ever the pragmatist, suggests a solution. “We’ll each describe our problem, and you just fix the one that’s easiest to solve. That way, at least one of us gets back to work.”

He launches into a detailed, code-heavy explanation of his complex database error. When he’s done, the support agent sighs and says, “Okay, fixed.”

The Russian programmer stares in disbelief. “But… but my problem is a simple syntax error! Why did you fix his?”

The American shrugs. “Hey, one of the other two problems was bound to be yours, and I’ll be damned if I’m spending another minute on this call.”

Alright, let’s dissect this joke!

Key Elements:

  • Characters: Englishman, Frenchman, Indian Man (stereotypical national identities are crucial)
  • Setting: 1950s Maternity Ward (context of potential cultural insensitivity and limited technology)
  • Premise: Baby mix-up creates chaos.
  • Humor Type: Stereotype-based, dark humor, unexpected twist.
  • Punchline: The Englishman’s blatant avoidance of the French baby reveals a prejudiced motive masked as strategy. The humor lies in the unexpected admission of prejudice overriding logic.

Now, for some comedic enrichment!

Observation/Did You Know:

Did you know that in the 1950s, while hospitals were grappling with issues like potentially mixing up newborns (which, let’s be honest, still happens occasionally today!), one of the biggest medical advancements was the widespread adoption of the Apgar score? It’s a standardized way to assess a newborn’s health, but clearly, it didn’t come with a “Nationality” field! Perhaps if it had, our Englishman wouldn’t have had to resort to such… creative identification methods.

New Joke Idea (Playing on the Absurdity):

Why did the hospital administrator, facing the baby mix-up, decide to implement a new naming system?

Because he figured if everyone’s baby was named “Bartholomew,” nobody would care which one they got! It was an equal opportunity Bartholomew-ing!

New Joke Idea (Modern Twist):

In the age of 23andMe, the hospital tried to rectify the baby mix-up. The Englishman, the Frenchman, and the Indian man each spit into the tube. The results came back: Turns out, the “French” baby was actually 12% English, the “Indian” baby had a trace of French ancestry, and the “English” baby was demanding to be called “Pierre.” Everyone was more confused than before. The real punchline? The hospital blamed the algorithm.

Enriched Joke:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Indian man find themselves in the same predicament at the maternity ward in 1955. The panicked nurse explains the baby mix-up. The Englishman, ever the strategist, strides in and emerges with what is obviously the Indian baby.

The Indian man sputters, “That’s my child!”

The Englishman replies, “Don’t be absurd! It’s elementary, my dear fellow. One of the other babies is French, and besides, the child I picked has the most prominent brow ridge! My eugenics textbook clearly states that the most evolved baby must be mine!”

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