My Yearly Medical Exam

Joke Poo: My Home Renovation

Contractor: How much will that wall extension cost?
Me: $500.
He inspects the wall plans…
Turns out, it’ll be $5000.

Contractor: How long will the project take?
Me: A week.
He checks the permits…
Apparently, it’ll take a month.

He checks the availability of the granite countertop I want.
Contractor: It’s unavailable for months.
Me: Well, OF COURSE it’s unavailable! When I started this renovation, I was rich and patient. Now I’m broke and stressed!

…My wife took me to Vegas.

Alright, let’s break down this medical exam joke.

Key Elements:

• The Setup: A seemingly routine yearly medical exam.
• The Discrepancy: The patient’s self-perception drastically differs from the clinical measurements (weight, height).
• The Punchline: The patient’s blood pressure spikes due to the revelation of their ‘true’ measurements, leading to a Prozac prescription.
• The Implied Theme: Self-delusion, denial of physical reality, aging, the stress of medical examinations.
• Humor derives from: Exaggeration, relatable anxiety, the absurdity of blaming the medical process for the bad news.

Now, let’s use these elements for some comedic enrichment.

New Joke:

Went to the doctor for my annual checkup.

Nurse: “Do you have any allergies?”

Me: “Yeah, reality. I’m severely allergic to it. It gives me hives…and apparently, a shrinking spine.”

Nurse: “Well, then I won’t ask if you are having any mood swings or memory loss?”

Me: “Now, wait just a minute, is that sarcasm? Why would I forget that!?”

Witty Observation:

It’s a cruel irony. We go to the doctor to find out how long we have left, only to find out we’re already shorter than we thought.

Amusing ‘Did You Know’ (related to the joke):

Did you know that most people actually do shrink slightly over the course of the day? The cartilage in our spine compresses as we stand and sit, making us a little taller in the morning. So technically, the doctor was making you shorter, just at the normal rate. The blood pressure? Okay, that’s just bad news.

Another approach: Playing on Prozac:

Doctor: “Your blood pressure is through the roof! I’m prescribing Prozac.”

Me: “Prozac? I thought I just needed new scales and a taller mirror! Maybe a refund on this checkup!”

Doctor: “Prozac will help you accept the old scales and the short mirror.”

Overall Strategy:

I tried to amplify the humor in the original joke by:

• Exaggerating the self-delusion: The new joke emphasizes the patient’s resistance to reality.
• Adding layers of irony: The ‘Did You Know’ brings in a factual element to contrast with the patient’s exaggerated reaction.
• Focusing on the absurdity: The Prozac-related jokes play on the idea of treating a reality check with antidepressants.
• Emphasizing relatability: The core of the joke is relatable. We’ve all felt that sting of unwelcome news from a doctor. By amplifying that feeling, we can make the humor resonate more.