…but he was a real annoyance. Whatever they want to do he is there, calling for attention, having them almost tripping over him and such. But it got too much when Orangio just wouldn't leave their bed, where man of tho house planned to do a certain deed with his wife that fateful afternoon.
The man took Orangio and threw him thru the bedroom door, closed the door, turned around back towards the bed, but Orangio was laying down, licking his fur.
"What the…". Man takes him out of the house, closes the door, walks back to the bedroom…to see Orangio at the same spot.
"You orange jerk, come over here!". Takes him, locks all the doors and closes all the windows, walks down a few blocks and dumps him in some gutter. Comes home after 30min, walks to the bedroom and finds Orangio on the bed, looking at him, half asleep.
"This…this can't be! You are Satan's pet, like what the hell dude!". He grabs him by the tail, shoves him in his backpack gets to a car, drives for 2 hours, enters the forest by foot, walks another 2 hours and dumps the cat in the wild.
As he starts walking back to his car, he realizes that he's lost in the forest. It's been 3 hours of aimless wandering, and its getting dark. Defeated, he takes out his cellphone and calls his wife.
"Hey!"
"Hey honey! Where were you, I was so worried! Are you OK?"
"I'm fine, I'm fine…but tell me, is Orangio there?"
"Yes hon, he's napping on the bed"
"Put him on the line, I need to ask him something…"
Joke Poo: The Pigeon’s GPS
A tech-illiterate old lady had a homing pigeon named…Navi… because she’d heard somewhere that pigeons are good with directions. She relied on Navi for everything. If she went to the grocery store, Navi would fly home with the shopping list and give it to her equally tech-challenged husband. He would then start preparing dinner. However, Navi was also a bit of a messy bird and left droppings wherever he went.
One day, she decided to drive to a town a few hours away to visit her sister, a perilous journey given her inability to use GPS. She took Navi with her, figuring she’d release him to guide her home. She arrived at her sister’s house, had a lovely visit, and when it was time to leave, she wrote her address on a small scroll, tied it to Navi’s leg, and let him go.
Three hours later, growing increasingly concerned as she was hopelessly lost, she pulled over to the side of the road, grabbed her cell phone, and called her husband.
“Hello, dear! Where are you?” he asked, concerned.
“I’m lost, horribly lost!” she wailed. “I don’t know where I am. Is Navi back yet?”
“Yes, he’s here,” her husband replied. “Pecking at the front door.”
“Put him on the phone! I need to ask him something!”
Okay, let’s analyze this joke and see if we can generate some comedic offshoots.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Concept: The joke revolves around a man’s escalating attempts to get rid of his clingy cat, Orangio, so he can “do a certain deed” (have sex) with his wife. The humor comes from the cat’s inexplicable ability to reappear in the bedroom despite increasingly extreme removal efforts.
- Key Elements:
- The Cat’s Persistence: The central comedic driver. The more effort the man expends, the funnier the cat’s reappearance becomes. This taps into the absurdity of feline behavior and the idea of cats being mysterious and unstoppable.
- The Man’s Frustration: The man’s growing anger and desperation amplify the humor. We empathize with his plight, even though it’s a silly situation.
- The Wife’s Innocence: She’s oblivious to the extreme measures her husband is taking, adding a layer of marital absurdity.
- The Final Phone Call: The setup for the punchline. The man’s desperation leads him to the illogical act of wanting to ask the cat for directions.
- Humor Type: Absurdist, situational comedy, with a touch of dark humor due to the implied cat abandonment.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s play on the idea of a cat’s uncanny homing ability and the absurdity of seeking directions from a pet.
New Joke:
A programmer was struggling with a particularly nasty bug. He’d tried everything: debugging tools, rubber ducking, even Googling the error message in Klingon. Finally, in desperation, he picked up his cat, Mr. Whiskers.
“Mr. Whiskers,” he sighed, “I’ve been working on this for 12 hours. What am I doing wrong?”
Mr. Whiskers blinked slowly, then nonchalantly walked over and deleted a semicolon from the code.
The programmer stared in disbelief. “How did you…?”
Mr. Whiskers yawned, hopped onto the keyboard, and typed: “Look, you feed me. Now fix your bugs. I’m going to sleep.”
The programmer, thoroughly defeated, muttered: “Fine, but how do I get back to the main folder?”
Mr. Whiskers just stared blankly, then turned around and showed him the way.
Witty Observation:
Cats don’t need GPS. They operate on a system of pure, unadulterated self-interest and a profound understanding of where the best napping spots are located. Getting lost isn’t in their vocabulary, unless it leads to a better food bowl.
Amusing “Did You Know?”:
Did you know that scientists haven’t fully unlocked the secrets of a cat’s homing ability? Theories range from sensitivity to the Earth’s magnetic field to using scent landmarks. This also explains why all cats are terrible at map reading.
Another Funny Observation:
That cat probably owns stock in Google Maps, so it has zero interest in providing directions.
I’ve tried to build on the humor by incorporating technology. I am open to other requests.