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A Roman centurion walks into a bar and orders a Martinus

Posted on August 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

The barman, confused, inquires: "Perhaps you meant to say Martini?"

The centurion responds begrudgingly: "Surely, if I wanted 2 drinks I would have said so"

Joke Poo: A Martian Walks In

A Martian shuffles into a spaceport cantina and orders a Foobus.

The bartender, wiping down the counter with a confused look, says, “You mean… Foobusi?”

The Martian, tilting its three heads, replies with a sigh, “Look, buddy, if I wanted the plural, I’d have grown another arm!”

Alright, let’s break down this joke!

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: A Roman Centurion, a symbol of ancient Rome and military discipline, enters a modern setting, a bar. This juxtaposition is the first layer of humor.
  • Punchline Trigger: The centurion orders a “Martinus,” an archaic (Latin) singular form of a modern drink name, Martini. This is a play on words and historical/linguistic knowledge.
  • Humor Mechanism: The humor hinges on the bartender correcting the centurion (a classic misunderstanding trope) and the centurion’s literal interpretation of grammar rules from a bygone era. The centurion’s response reveals his single-minded (and thirsty) desire for just one drink, oblivious to modern cocktail conventions. It is also ironic since in Roman armies soldiers were rarely allowed alcohol.

Key Elements:

  • Roman Centurion: Represents ancient history, military order, and a certain stoicism.
  • Martini: Represents modern culture, cocktails, and a certain sophistication (or aspiration thereof).
  • Latin: Represents the dead language of Ancient Rome, and is contrasted with modern speech.
  • Misunderstanding/Literal Interpretation: The core engine of the joke.

Comedic Enrichment (New Joke/Witty Observation):

Observation:

You know, it’s a shame that the Roman Centurion wasn’t ordering more Martinis. Because the actual daily wine ration for a Roman legionary was around a liter. That’s more than enough to conquer a small village, or at least get into a heated debate about proper road construction techniques.

Alternate Punchline:

A Roman Centurion walks into a bar and orders a Martinus. The bartender, confused, inquires: “Perhaps you meant to say Martini?”
The centurion sighs, pulls out a scroll, and unrolls it. “Look, I’m on a strategic reconnaissance mission. I need to blend in. Just give me the one drink. And make it a good one. The Republic isn’t paying for watered-down plonk.”

“Did you know?” (Amusing Factoid):

Did you know that the word “centurion” comes from the Latin “centum,” meaning “hundred”? Originally, a centurion commanded 100 men. However, Roman military reforms over time changed the composition of a century, so the number of soldiers under a centurion’s command varied. This means that the modern cocktail naming convention of “Martini” is closer to the Centurion’s real company number than the old Latin term “Martinus” is!

I hope these add some extra fun!

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