Asking him, “if you have 20 enemies running at you, what will you do?”
“I will take my uzi and I will shoot them down, sir!” He responds
“And if you have a tank rolling towards you, what will you do?”
“I will take an anti tank launcher and attack it, sir!”
“And if you have enemy planes, tanks and soldiers running at you, what will you do?”
The soldier, looks at the general confused and asks
“General, am I the only soldier in your army?”
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the joke you provided, titled “The CEO’s Productivity”:
The CEO’s Productivity
A Venture Capitalist questions a CEO:
Asking him, “If you have twenty urgent emails in your inbox, what will you do?”
“I’ll delegate them to my assistant, immediately!” he responds.
“And if you have a hostile takeover bid on the table, what will you do?”
“I’ll call my lawyers and investment bankers to fight it off, of course!”
“And if you have a product recall, a PR crisis, and a government investigation all happening at once, what will you do?”
The CEO looks at the Venture Capitalist, confused, and asks:
“Wait, am I the only executive at this company?”
Alright, let’s dissect this soldier joke!
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A General poses hypothetical combat scenarios to a soldier, escalating the difficulty.
- Premise: The soldier responds confidently with appropriate weaponry.
- Punchline: The soldier breaks the pattern by questioning the General’s strategy, implying the absurdity of the situation. The humor comes from the shift in perspective – from demonstrating combat proficiency to highlighting the lack of strategic support. It’s a classic “absurd situation” joke.
- Key Elements:
- Military hierarchy (General/Soldier)
- Escalating combat scenarios
- Realistic weapon choices (Uzi, anti-tank launcher)
- Underlying implication of incompetence/lack of resources.
Comedic Enrichment – The “Did You Know?” Angle
Okay, here’s a “Did You Know?” angle that plays off the joke’s implied absurdity:
“Did you know that the U.S. Army actually did experiment with ‘Personal Defense Weapons’ like the Uzi in the 1980s? They were looking for a compact weapon for vehicle crews and support personnel. The funny thing is, the tests showed the M16 rifle was often easier to use effectively in close-quarters combat. So, in a way, that soldier might’ve been better off just grabbing his standard-issue rifle, even against a tank – at least he’d have more practice! Though, to be fair, against enemy planes, maybe he could try throwing the rifle really, really hard?”
Why This Works:
- Connects to the joke: It touches on the Uzi as a specific weapon choice, grounding the hypothetical scenario in a bit of real military history.
- Adds another layer of absurdity: The fact that the M16 was potentially better than the Uzi in close quarters enhances the feeling of the soldier being poorly equipped.
- Witty Observation: The closing line, suggesting throwing the rifle at a plane, is pure absurdism, highlighting the desperation implied in the original joke.
Alternative joke
Why did the general cross the road to talk to the soldier?
Because he lost all his tanks and planes in a training exercise, and wanted to know how to use an Uzi.