A man buys a newspaper

Okay, here’s my attempt, titled “Joke Poo”:

Joke Poo: A Dog’s Daily Ritual

A dog goes to a fire hydrant every day, sniffs the base meticulously, then lifts his leg, whines in disappointment, and walks away without marking it.

After a few weeks of this, another dog, watching from across the street, just has to ask what’s going on: “Why do you always sniff so carefully, but never pee? It’s the prime spot!”

“I’m looking for a message.”

“A message? But the good messages are further up the hydrant, where everyone can see them!”

“Oh no, the message I’m looking for will be right at the bottom.”

Alright, let’s analyze this darkly humorous gem.

Joke Dissection:

• Setup: A man performs a strange ritual: buys the NYT, glances at the front, curses, and throws it away. This creates mystery and sets up the expectation of an unusual reason.
• Punchline Setup: The newsstand owner inquires, focusing on the bizarre ritual of only checking the cover. This is essential to draw out the man’s reasoning.
• Punchline: The man reveals he’s looking for an obituary, but specifically his own and on the front page. The humor lies in the man’s morbid expectation of front-page notoriety upon his death, implying either extreme self-importance or anticipation of a spectacularly newsworthy demise.
• Key Elements:
  • The New York Times: Symbol of established news, a reputable source.
  • Obituary: Typically found in the back, signifies death and remembrance.
  • Front Page: Signifies major, impactful news.
  • The Man’s Ego/Delusion: The crux of the humor. He expects his death to be earth-shattering.

Comedic Enrichment & New Material:

Let’s leverage these elements to craft a new, related humorous take:

Approach: Let’s play on the “front page obituary” concept, and the irony that getting that front-page obituary might preclude ever reading it. We’ll also bring in a bit of existential dread for good measure.

New Joke/Observation:

Joke: I told my therapist I’m obsessed with getting my obituary on the front page of the New York Times. He said, “That’s narcissistic and unrealistic.” I said, “No, it’s strategically sound. Think of the long game. If I’m newsworthy enough to make the front page dead, the least I can do is plan the wording of my first headline. Plus, let’s be honest, it would finally justify all those NYT subscriptions… that I won’t be around to read.”

Reasoning for the Enrichment:

• Builds on the original joke: It directly references the man’s (absurd) goal of front-page obituary coverage.
• Adds a layer of self-awareness: The character acknowledges the narcissistic nature of the desire.
• Introduces Existential Irony: The joke highlights the inherent absurdity of striving for post-mortem recognition that you can never personally experience. The cost of recognition is irrelevance to the deceased.
• Incorporates Modern Concerns: Mentions therapy (a common comedic trope) and the struggle to justify digital subscriptions.

Bonus Observation:

Did you know: The New York Times actually maintains a “Dead Bag” file filled with pre-written obituaries of prominent figures. The idea is to have a head start when their eventual front-page-worthy demise happens. Though, they’re probably hoping it doesn’t actually make the front page because that’s generally a bad sign for global events! So wanting your obituary on the front page is probably bad luck.