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What has 2 butts and kills people?

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

An assassin

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” riffing on the original:

Joke Poo: What has 2 scoops and gives people the runs?

…An ice cream truck.

Alright, let’s dissect this joke!

Elements of the Joke:

  • Setup: “What has 2 butts and kills people?” This is a riddle-based setup.
  • Misdirection: The setup immediately primes the listener to think of something anatomical or perhaps something literal with two rear ends.
  • Punchline: “An assassin.” The humor comes from the unexpected reinterpretation of “butts” as contract targets (i.e., “hitting butts” or “collecting butts”). The connection is semantic and relies on a slang term.
  • Humor Type: Pun/Wordplay, Riddle.

Now, let’s enrich this comedic landscape with some related facts and build a new comedic creation:

Fact Nugget: The term “assassin” comes from the Arabic word “Hashshashin” (حشاشين), which referred to Nizari Ismailis, a secretive and controversial Islamic sect active during the 11th-13th centuries. Legend (often disputed) says they were given hashish before missions, hence the name. They were known for their targeted assassinations against high-profile political and religious figures.

Comedic Enrichment:

Joke Attempt #1 (Play on Words & History):

Why did the medieval assassin start a dispensary?
Because he was tired of just collecting butts and wanted to sell buds!

Joke Attempt #2 (Twist on the Original Riddle):

What has two butts, kills people, and might have been fueled by hashish?
A historically accurate assassin!

Joke Attempt #3 (Observational Comedy):

It’s funny how the word “assassin” sounds so sophisticated, but when you break it down, it’s basically someone who gets paid to be a professional pain in the butt… twice, apparently.

Joke Attempt #4 (Anecdote-Based):

You know, I once tried to hire an assassin to take out a particularly aggressive mosquito in my bedroom. When I explained my terms and requirements, I was told by the person on the other end of the line, “Sorry, we only eliminate butts.” I felt misunderstood, but also, quite relieved by their sense of high professional ethical standards.

Analysis of New Jokes:

  • Attempt #1 uses a pun on “butts” and “buds” while referencing the historical connection (albeit potentially apocryphal) to hashish.
  • Attempt #2 is a more direct modification of the original riddle, injecting historical context.
  • Attempt #3 highlights the inherent incongruity between the formal-sounding word “assassin” and its more blunt description.
  • Attempt #4 tries a less aggressive humor, drawing upon the initial setup to create a humorous anecdote.

Each new piece aims to enhance the original joke’s humor by adding depth through historical information or wordplay related to the core elements: “assassin” and the double meaning of “butts”.

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