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Chaim inherited a huge diamond, decided to cut it and insert in a ring and went with it to a jeweler. The jeweler examined it closely:

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

“Oh, this is a unique stone, worth a fortune. I won’t touch it—what if I make a mistake?” Chaim went to another jeweler. He was scared too. So Chaim went to the best jeweler in a Brooklyn, old Katzman. Katzman looked at the diamond and shouted to his young apprentice:
“Isaak, my boy, cut this little stone for a ring!” Chaim got worried and whispered to an old jeveler:
“Listen, how can you trust this boy? Don’t you know what this stone is and how much it worth? The very best jewelers refused to even touch it!” “Shh, my boy! You know how much it’s worth. I know how much it’s worth. But Isaak doesn’t know—and he’ll get it done!”

Okay, here’s a joke riffing on the original, titled “Joke Poo”:

Joke Poo: Bartholomew’s Burden

Bartholomew, a sanitation engineer, found a manhole cover made of solid gold. He decided to replace his rusty one with it, and took it to the city’s engineer. The engineer examined it closely:

“Oh, this is a unique cover, worth a fortune in scrap. I won’t touch it—what if I scratch it?” Bartholomew went to another city office. He was scared too. So Bartholomew went to the oldest, grumpiest foreman in the city’s sanitation, Old Man Fitzwilliam. Fitzwilliam looked at the gold cover and shouted to his newest recruit:

“Kevin, my boy, huck this little lid down onto Elm Street!” Bartholomew got worried and whispered to the old foreman:

“Listen, how can you trust this kid? Don’t you know what this thing is and how much it’s worth? The very best engineers refused to even touch it!”

“Shh, my boy! You know it’s gold. I know it’s gold. But Kevin doesn’t know—and he’ll get the job done!”

Changes and Rationale:

  • Replaced Key Elements:
    • Chaim/Diamond –> Bartholomew/Gold Manhole Cover
    • Jeweler –> City Engineer/ Sanitation Foreman
    • Isaak –> Kevin
  • Similar Comedic Structure: The joke follows the same pattern: nervous protagonist, a series of rejections from experts, a seemingly naive person who does the task without hesitation, and the final punchline revealing the old timer’s shrewdness.
  • Maintained the Twist: The core twist remains: the value is recognized by the main character and the old experienced character, but the key to getting the task done is not informing the person doing the task about the value.
  • Adjusted to make sense in context of theme The main thing this joke plays on is the value of something based on how we think about it. In the original joke, you get something done because someone doesn’t know how valuable it is. In the new joke, you get something done because someone doesn’t know how valuable it is!
  • Joke Poo Title: The title “Joke Poo” is a silly placeholder.

I tried to create a joke that had the spirit of the original but felt fresh.

Alright, let’s break down this joke!

Key Elements of the Joke:

  • The Precious Stone: A ridiculously valuable diamond that everyone recognizes its worth.
  • The Expertise Paradox: Experienced jewelers are too afraid to work on it, fearing mistakes.
  • Ignorance is Bliss (and Efficient): The joke hinges on the idea that someone who doesn’t know the value will be less inhibited and more likely to get the job done.
  • Brooklyn Jeweler Setting: The humor is enhanced by the setting of a Brooklyn, NY which can be associated with a certain down-to-earth practicality.

Analysis:

The humor comes from the inversion of expectations. We expect the best people to be the most capable, but here, their awareness of the stakes paralyzes them. It’s a comment on the pressure of expertise and the liberating power of naivete (or, at least, a calculated lack of awareness). The Brooklyn setting adds to the humor of a straight-forward approach.

New Humor Inspired by the Joke:

Type: Witty Observation + “Did You Know”

The Observation:

“They say ignorance is bliss. In the diamond trade, it’s also apparently cost-effective. After all, a surgeon who knows too much about the potential complications of a simple procedure might just freeze up on the operating table, while the intern who just read the textbook is ready to make that first incision. There is an old Jewish joke about the same premise, but about a diamond.”

“Did You Know” Factoid:

Did you know that the largest diamond ever found, the Cullinan Diamond, was so large (3,106 carats!) that they actually made nine major stones out of it, many of which are now part of the British Crown Jewels? Imagine telling Isaak to “just cut that little stone” if it was the Cullinan! He’d probably be whistling and not even notice the pricelessness, making an error that is priceless.

New Joke inspired by the Joke:

Why did the billionaire hire a kindergartener to manage his stock portfolio?

Because he realized experienced financial analysts were too aware of market risks and paralyzed by fear. The kindergartener, on the other hand, just picked stocks based on the colors he liked, earning him an unexpected fortune. “He just likes green,” explained the billionaire. “and his methods are, quite frankly, ignorant bliss.”

Explanation of How the New Humor Relates:

  • Observation: It takes the “ignorance is bliss” theme from the original joke and applies it to a different context (surgery), creating a broader, more relatable observation.
  • Factoid: It takes the core element of a super valuable diamond and adds a layer of absurdity to the original joke’s scenario. The idea of ignorance acting on such an immense, valuable object is inherently funny.
  • The New Joke: Is a modern, satirical take on the original joke, using stock market as a setting. It keeps the central tension between expertise and naivete but in a contemporary setting.

In short, we’ve taken the core comedic engine of the original joke and re-purposed it to create new, hopefully amusing, content. This utilizes the same principles of expectation subversion and highlighting the humor in unconventional approaches.

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.
  • A high-powered attorney ended up in the hospital for a few days – and let’s just say, he was not the ideal patient.
  • The Cowboy and the Horse Thieves
  • What is a mob boss’ favorite element from the periodic table?
  • Three men are stranded on a desert island
  • My friend wrote a murder mystery set in the TARDIS…
  • U.S. Open
  • Breaking News: The founder of /r/jokes is pregnant

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