"Honey, I want you to go to the bank and withdraw everything from my checking and saving accounts. All $5 million. Then take the cash, put it in a sack, and put it in the attic." The wife is puzzled and asks "why do you want me to do that?"
He says "honey, I've only got a few months left on this planet. I want the money in the attic so that when my time comes, and I pass on, I can take all that money to heaven with me and be happy for all eternity."
The wife thinks this is odd, but she does as he asks. A few months later, the man dies. His wife mourns him, and after a few years as a widow, she gets curious. She climbs up into the attic just for kicks to see if the money is still there. She gets up there, and it is. She sighs and says,
"I knew I should've put it in the basement."
Joke Poo: The Galactic Treasure
A wizened, multi-tentacled space pirate captain is on his deathbed, flickering with fading bioluminescence. He croaks to his first mate, a gruff, cybernetically enhanced space walrus:
“Blargle… take all the Glorium Crystals… every last one of the 7000 kilobars… and hide them in the auxiliary airlock. Seal it tight.”
The space walrus, Bubba, shifts his tusks uneasily. “Cap’n, why in the nebula would ya want me to do that? We could buy half the Andromeda galaxy with that much Glorium!”
The captain wheezes, “Bubba… me time’s near. I want those crystals in the airlock so when I kick the bucket and ascend to the Great Galactic Beyond, I can blast off with ’em and be the richest pirate ghost in the cosmos!”
Bubba, though skeptical, obeys his captain. A week later, the captain’s lights go out. Bubba mourns briefly (mostly for the loss of leadership), and then, after a year or two, powered by equal parts curiosity and ambition, he waddles to the auxiliary airlock. He cracks the seal, and there they are: mountains of glittering Glorium Crystals. He stares at them, then mutters to himself:
“Should’ve dumped ’em out the garbage chute…at least someone would have found them.”
Alright, let’s analyze this joke!
Core Elements:
- Premise: A rich, dying man wants his money taken to heaven with him.
- Setup: The wife fulfills his unusual request by stashing $5 million in the attic.
- Punchline: The wife reveals she should have put the money in the basement.
Key Humor Mechanisms:
- Absurdity: The notion of taking earthly wealth to the afterlife is inherently illogical and humorous.
- Irony: The wife’s dedication to fulfilling the husband’s ridiculous wish then being undone by her desire to take the money herself.
- Materialism: The joke mocks the excessive attachment to money, even in the face of death.
- Implied Theft: The punchline reveals the wife’s own greedy intentions.
Let’s Leverage These Elements for New Humor!
1. Observational Quip (Playing on Absurdity & Materialism):
“You know, people always say ‘you can’t take it with you.’ But I bet if they invented a ‘Heaven ATM’ that dispensed celestial credits in exchange for earthly cash, the funeral business would boom even more. Imagine the lines for ‘Last Minute Wills and Transfer Services’!”
Supporting Detail: Did you know that studies show people’s spending on funerals has increased dramatically in recent decades? It’s like we’re trying to buy our way into a good afterlife reputation.
2. “Did You Know?” with a Twist:
“Did you know that historically, some cultures did try to take it with them? Ancient Egyptians were buried with all sorts of treasures, from jewels to furniture, because they believed they’d need them in the afterlife. Talk about a well-stocked afterlife apartment! I bet the movers charged extra for all the ‘eternal wardrobe’ boxes.”
3. A New Joke (Building on the Original):
A woman dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets her and says, “We have a new policy. Before entering paradise, you must pay a one-time ‘Cloud Management Fee’ of 10% of your earthly assets.”
The woman smiles, “Oh, that’s no problem. I buried my husband with all his money in his favorite Ferrari!”
St. Peter looks confused. “A Ferrari? In heaven? Where’s he going to drive? The pearly gates have a strict 5 mph speed limit!”
4. Reframing the Original Joke with a Different Angle:
The joke could also be made more effective, by the wife placing the money in the basement because it’s closer to hell, and if he is still there, he can enjoy it.
Explanation of Choices:
- Observational Quip: This leans into the modern obsession with money and imagines an even more ridiculous scenario where the afterlife is commodified.
- “Did You Know?”: This connects the joke to real historical practices, adding a layer of educational humor and emphasizing the enduring human fascination with bringing wealth to the next world.
- New Joke: This one uses the afterlife setting directly, creating a new scenario with similar themes of wealth and the afterlife, but with a twist on traditional expectations.
- Reframing: This one twists the story to be not only absurd, but evil, making the wife the villain of the story.
The key is to take the essence of the original joke – the absurdity of taking money to the afterlife and the human connection to material wealth – and build upon it with relevant facts and relatable observations. You can use interesting or funny facts that connect to the original joke, to provide more comedy.