Skip to content
Joke Poo
Menu
  • Home
    • The Enduring Power of a Good Joke
  • Categories
    • Totally Feckin random
    • Why Did
    • Long
    • Wife
    • Walks into a bar
    • Dog
    • Bartender
    • Husband
    • Doctor
    • Chicken
  • Privacy Policy
Menu
Joke Poo

Fed up with Derby County’s performances, I decided to nail my season ticket to a post outside Pride Park so someone else could suffer instead. Couple of hours later I thought, ‘Actually, I might still get some use out of it,’ so I went back to grab it.

Posted on September 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

To my despair, someone had nicked the nail.

Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version:

Joke Poo: Compost Chaos

Frustrated with the terrible tomatoes in my organic garden, I decided to bury my prize-winning fertilizer recipe in the compost heap so nobody else would suffer the same bland fate. A couple of hours later I thought, ‘Actually, maybe it wasn’t the recipe,’ so I went back to dig it up.

To my horror, someone had already stolen my manure script.

Alright, let’s dive into this Derby County joke and see what comedic gold we can mine!

Joke Breakdown:

  • Premise: The joke sets up a scenario where someone is incredibly frustrated with Derby County’s poor performance. This frustration leads to a drastic (and humorous) action: nailing their season ticket to a post.
  • Expectation Subversion: We expect the punchline to be related to someone taking the ticket, perhaps enjoying the games.
  • Punchline: The punchline subverts that expectation entirely. Instead of the ticket being taken, it’s the nail itself that’s stolen. This shifts the focus from the football club’s awfulness to a petty act of theft, creating an absurd contrast.
  • Key Elements: Football (Derby County), Frustration, Season Ticket, Nailing (a destructive/public act), Theft, Absurdity.

Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:

Let’s leverage some facts and observations around these elements to generate new jokes and witty remarks.

1. Football Fanaticism & Frustration:

  • Fact: The Rams (Derby County’s nickname) have indeed experienced a tumultuous recent history, facing administration and relegation.
  • New Joke: Why did the Derby County fan name his therapist ‘Wayne’? Because he needed Rooney’s expertise to cope with the team’s performance!
  • Witty Observation: Supporting Derby County is less a hobby and more a prolonged existential crisis set to the soundtrack of “Steve Bloomer’s Watching.”

2. Season Tickets & Commitment:

  • Fact: Season tickets represent a significant financial and emotional investment, signifying loyalty and dedication.
  • New Joke: A Derby County season ticket holder was caught trying to exchange his ticket for a therapy session. He claimed it was a “distress purchase.”
  • Amusing ‘Did You Know?’: Did you know that in 1972 when Derby Won the League, the number of season tickets sold the following year dropped by 25% as most fans thought that the Rams “had peaked.”

3. Nailing & Public Display:

  • Fact: Nailing something to a post is a symbolic act, often signifying protest or announcement.
  • New Joke: A Derby County fan tried to nail his season ticket to the gates of Pride Park. Security stopped him, saying, “We understand the sentiment, but you’ll need planning permission for that kind of public art.”
  • Amusing ‘Did You Know?’: The act of nailing items to public surfaces has a long history, from Martin Luther’s 95 Theses to countless lost dog posters. Derby’s season ticket holder was just keeping the tradition alive.

4. Theft & Absurdity:

  • Fact: The value of a single nail is minimal, making its theft even more bizarre.
  • New Joke: “I’ve heard of nail-biting finishes,” said the frustrated Derby fan, “but this is the first time I’ve seen a nail-stealing thief!”
  • Witty Observation: The real tragedy isn’t the football; it’s that someone out there values a single nail more than a Derby County season ticket. That’s a commentary on modern society, right there.

Combining Elements for a Longer Bit:

“I was at Pride Park the other day, right? Thinking I’d finally had enough of the Rams. Nailed my season ticket to a post, a symbolic gesture of footballing surrender. Went back later… ticket still there, but the nail was gone! I swear, only in Derby. I mean, who steals a nail? Maybe it was a Birmingham fan, trying to build a better future, one stolen nail at a time. You know, their stadium is called St. Andrews Trillion Trophy Stadium; Maybe someone short a nail to hang a new trophy in the case after they beat us.”

By exploring these facets of the original joke, we can create new humor that resonates with the core themes and emotions, either through outright jokes, witty observations, or fun, related trivia. This is how we can enrich and expand upon a single joke to create a richer comedic experience.

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.
  • A high-powered attorney ended up in the hospital for a few days – and let’s just say, he was not the ideal patient.
  • The Cowboy and the Horse Thieves
  • What is a mob boss’ favorite element from the periodic table?
  • Three men are stranded on a desert island
  • My friend wrote a murder mystery set in the TARDIS…
  • U.S. Open
  • Breaking News: The founder of /r/jokes is pregnant

Categories

  • "Walks into a bar"
  • Bartender
  • Blonde
  • Chicken
  • Dirty
  • Doctor
  • Dog
  • Heaven
  • Husband
  • Irishman
  • Knock Knock
  • Knock-Knock Joke
  • Lawyer
  • Lightbulb
  • Long
  • Mother-in-law
  • Politician
  • Priest
  • Religion
  • Totally Feckin random
  • Walks into a bar
  • What's the difference
  • Why Did
  • Wife
©2025 Joke Poo | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme