When he gets home Sunday night, his wife is incredibly angry.
“How would you like it if you didn’t see me for 3 days?” She shouts
He says “That wouldn’t bother me a bit”
Monday went by, and he didn’t see her
Tuesday went by, and he didn’t see her.
By Wednesday, the swelling had gone down a bit and he could see her out of the corner of his eye.
Joke Poo: The Accountant’s Audit
A meticulous accountant stays late at the office all week, burying himself in spreadsheets to prepare for a crucial audit. He works through the weekend, fueled by caffeine and sheer stubbornness.
When he finally stumbles home Sunday night, his wife is absolutely livid.
“How would you like it if you didn’t see me for three days, buried under a mountain of paperwork?” she demands.
He replies, deadpan, “That wouldn’t bother me a bit. It might even improve my efficiency.”
Monday went by, and he didn’t see her. She’d hidden the tax returns and budget reports under the couch.
Tuesday went by, and he still didn’t see her. She’d reorganized the filing cabinet by color and removed all the labels.
By Wednesday, the confusion had lessened slightly, and he could estimate her general location based on the faint scent of lavender and the suspiciously well-organized spice rack.
Alright, let’s dive into this joke and extract some comedic gold!
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A man prioritizes a fishing trip over his wife’s feelings, creating marital discord.
- Punchline: The punchline uses physical comedy and dark humor. The wife retaliates with violence, and the man’s injuries are described in a casual, almost detached manner.
- Key Elements:
- Marital conflict/nagging wife stereotype
- Fishing/male bonding escape
- Retaliation/Domestic violence (played for dark humor)
- Irony/Unexpected twist
Comedic Enrichment and New Humor:
Let’s focus on the fishing aspect and create a new joke that plays off the “escape” element:
New Joke:
A man is late coming home every Friday for a month, always with some fishing excuse. Finally, his wife, suspicious, says, “Next Friday, I’m coming with you.”
Friday arrives, and they drive for hours to a remote lake. The man rows them to the middle of the lake, drops anchor, and pulls out his fishing gear. An hour passes, then another… no fish.
Finally, the wife snaps, “I knew it! You’re not really fishing, are you? You bring me all the way out here for this?”
The man sighs, puts down his rod, and says, “Fine, you’re right. This lake is just my therapy. I come out here so I can be as far away as possible while I practice pretending to listen to you.”
Why This Works:
- It retains the core idea of marital conflict and a man seeking escape, but replaces the violence with a more relatable and less dark comedic element: communication problems.
- The “therapy” aspect adds a layer of self-awareness and absurdity, as if the fishing trip is a calculated and elaborate exercise in avoidance.
- It twists the wife’s expectations, making her the butt of the joke by revealing the true, bizarre purpose of the trip.
Bonus ‘Did You Know’ for Added Flair:
Did You Know? Studies have shown that staring at a fishing bobber for extended periods can actually induce a meditative state similar to staring at a flickering candle. So, maybe the guy was getting therapy out on that lake, just not the kind his wife suspected! This also explains why a fisherman’s excuses can be so…spaced out. They’re basically in a trance. This does not excuse the lack of fish, though.
This information adds a layer of legitimacy and quirky fact to the ‘fishing escape’ element, and can be amusing when shared after the joke.