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Mexican Mayonnaise

Posted on September 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

Not many people know, but the Mexicans have always loved Hellman's mayonnaise, which is manufactured in England. In fact, 12,000 jars were loaded aboard the Titanic, and it was scheduled to stop at Vera Cruz, Mexico after unloading the passengers in New York. Of course, we all know what happened, and the crates of mayonnaise were lost at the bottom of the Atlantic.

So great was the public outcry at the sinking of the Titanic (along with it, what would have been the largest ever delivery of mayonnaise) that the Mexican president decreed that there be a national holiday, officially to mourn the lives tragically lost in the disaster, but unofficially to commemorate the loss of their beloved condiment. This became an annual tradition, and to this day, the Mexicans still remember the event on 5th May, or as it's known locally, Sinko de Mayo.

Joke Poo: Irish Asphalt

Not many people know, but the Irish have always loved premium grade asphalt, which is primarily sourced from Venezuela. In fact, 20,000 tons were loaded onto the Lusitania, scheduled to first dock in Cork before heading to its main destination of Liverpool. Of course, we all know what happened, and the shipment of asphalt was lost at the bottom of the Atlantic after a U-boat attack.

So great was the public outcry at the sinking of the Lusitania (along with it, what would have been the largest ever delivery of Venezuelan asphalt) that the Irish Taoiseach declared a national day of mourning, officially to lament the loss of life, but unofficially to commemorate the lack of paving for their notoriously pot-holed roads. This became an annual event, and to this day, the Irish remember the event on March 17th, or as it’s known locally, St. Pot-hole’s Day.

Alright, let’s dive into this saucy joke!

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: Mexicans have a deep-seated love for Hellmann’s mayonnaise manufactured in England.
  • Exaggeration: 12,000 jars were on the Titanic, destined for Vera Cruz.
  • Twist: The loss of the mayonnaise cargo was a significant part of the mourning of the Titanic disaster.
  • Punchline: Sinko de Mayo is a commemoration of the lost mayonnaise, a play on Cinco de Mayo.

Key Elements:

  1. Cultural Stereotype (Mild): Implies Mexicans are particularly fond of mayonnaise.
  2. Historical Event: The Titanic sinking.
  3. Misdirection: Leads the audience to believe it’s a story about mourning human lives, then pivots to mayonnaise.
  4. Pun: Sinko de Mayo vs. Cinco de Mayo.
  5. Incongruity: The vast quantity of mayonnaise on the Titanic bound for Mexico.

Comedic Enrichment – New Joke/Observation:

“Did you know that salvage operations on the Titanic site were initially delayed because the team kept slipping on a suspiciously creamy substance? Turns out, after 100+ years underwater, Hellman’s mayo still holds its emulsification. The marine archaeologists are now using it as a beard conditioner. Turns out it’s the secret to perfectly coiffed facial hair at extreme pressures, so they’re calling it Hell-Man’s Beard Dressing. And no, they’re not exporting it to Mexico, they learned their lesson.”

Explanation of Enhancement:

  • Builds on Original Premise: Continues the absurd idea of Hellmann’s mayonnaise being a central element of the Titanic’s cargo.
  • Adds Novelty: Introduces the idea of salvage operations and the mayo’s surprising durability.
  • Incongruous Juxtaposition: Combines deep-sea archaeology with beard grooming.
  • Reinforces Absurdity: Marine archaeologists using mayonnaise as beard conditioner.
  • Self-Referential Callback: The “learned their lesson” directly references the original joke’s premise.
  • Ridiculous Product Name: “Hell-Man’s Beard Dressing” is a nonsensical product that reinforces the absurdity.

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