A man was raking leaves in his backyard when he hears some sniffling and crying coming from over the fence. He looks over into the next yard to see little Johnny in tears, using a shovel to fill in a large hole underneath a tree.
With sympathy, the man asks kindly, "Oh no, little Johnny, what's wrong? What happened?"
Little Johnny looks up at him with tears streaming down his face and his nose running. "My goldfish died," he says between sobs in a small, shaky voice. "I'm burying him beneath this pine tree because he could see it from his aquarium through my bedroom window."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, little Johnny. That's a great way to honor him, though. I'm sure he would've liked that."
The neighbor watches in respectful silence until little Johnny finishes filling in the hole and steps back. But something catches the man's attention.
"Uh, little Johnny….. isn't that an awfully big hole just to bury a little goldfish in?"
Little Johnny looks up and glares at the man through his tears.
"He's still inside your goddamn cat."
Joke Poo: Farmer Giles’ Compost
Farmer Giles was mucking out the pigsty when he heard whimpering coming from behind the barn. He peered around the corner to see little Timmy, red-faced and sniffling, using a pitchfork to bury something under a pile of manure.
With concern, Giles asked gently, “Now then, Timmy, what’s all this then, lad? What’s happened?”
Little Timmy looked up, tears blurring his vision. “My pet slug, Sheldon, died,” he sobbed. “I’m givin’ him a proper burial under this muck heap. He always loved the smell, said it reminded him of home.”
“Ah, that’s a kind thought, Timmy. A right proper send-off for Sheldon,” Giles said, nodding in sympathy.
He watched Timmy finish, patting the manure mound gently. But something seemed amiss.
“Erm, Timmy… isn’t that a bit of a… sizable heap for just one little slug?”
Timmy sniffed, wiped his nose on his sleeve, and glared up at Giles.
“Well, he wouldn’t fit in the wheelbarrow. He’s still inside your prize-winning marrow.”
Alright, let’s analyze this morbidly humorous tale of Little Johnny and his deceased (but not entirely gone) goldfish.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Establishes a scene of innocent sorrow. Little Johnny is grieving the loss of his pet, and the neighbor offers sympathetic support.
- Misdirection: The neighbor’s concern for Johnny is genuine. We, the audience, also assume a small, sentimental burial.
- Twist: The punchline reveals the shocking truth – the goldfish died inside the neighbor’s cat and Little Johnny is burying the entire cat.
- Humor Source: The humor comes from the incongruity between the perceived small act of mourning and the over-the-top, slightly sociopathic (from Johnny’s perspective), and dark reality. It subverts expectations in a shocking and absurd way.
- Key Elements: Goldfish, Death, Burial, Cat, Little Johnny’s attitude, and the contrast between the small pet and the large hole.
Humorous Enrichment:
Let’s leverage the element of burying pets (specifically, burying pets inside other animals) and goldfish facts for some comedic gold:
New Joke Idea:
A pet cemetery owner is giving a tour to a prospective customer. “Here,” he says, gesturing grandly, “is our pet section. We offer everything from simple goldfish graves to… more elaborate arrangements.”
The customer raises an eyebrow. “Elaborate? What do you mean?”
The owner smiles thinly. “Well, ma’am, we had a gentleman who wanted to bury his hamster. But the hamster met its end inside his Great Dane. So, we had to dig a pretty big hole. Turns out, we also offer full grief counseling for the Great Dane after the hamster’s memorial. Apparently, he kept saying ‘Squeak? Squeak?’ for a week.”
Witty Observation:
You know you’ve crossed the line when you’re not just burying your goldfish, but providing an all-expenses-paid eternal vacation for the cat that ate it. Think of it as feline-assisted cremation… except horizontal, and slightly less consensual for the cat.
Amusing ‘Did You Know?’
Did you know that goldfish, despite their reputation for short-term memory, can actually be trained? This is probably why Little Johnny’s goldfish was so determined to see that pine tree… It had been practicing its tree-spotting skills all week! It could probably even have identified the exact species. Pity about the cat.
Expanding on the original joke’s themes:
Little Johnny’s goldfish’s last request wasn’t to be buried under the tree. It was to get revenge on the cat. He was just helping out. He told the neighbor that he was going to bury the cat with the goldfish inside it. The neighbor yelled, “What?! I can’t let you bury my cat!”, to which little Johnny replied, “He’s going to a better place, Mr. Stevenson. A place where he will swim again… on his own terms.”
These examples try to maintain the dark humor and unexpected twist while exploring the absurdity of the situation further.