One sunny January morning, a blonde decided to try her hand at ice fishing. She gathered up her equipment and headed out onto the ice. She found a spot that looked nice, unpacked her gear, and set up her camp. Just as she was getting ready to cut a hole in the ice and drop her line in, she heard a booming godlike voice from all around her, saying,
”THERE ARE NO FISH IN THE ICE”
Startled, she nearly fell down. She looked everywhere, but saw no one in any direction. “God?” she said, “Is that you?” But there was no answer. “It must be a sign.” she thought, and packed up all of her equipment and moved to a different spot much further along. Again, she set up her camp, and again just as she was preparing to cut her hole and drop her line in, she heard the same voice from the heavens, saying:
”THERE ARE NO FISH IN THE ICE”
This time she wasn’t as surprised, but it was still pretty awe inspiring to hear the voice of God, and this time, there could be no mistaking it…that voice was for her. “What luck!,” she thought. Surely, she would find fish with the help of the Almighty. And so she packed up all of her belongings yet again, and went much further down the ice nearly out to the middle. Again, she unpacked her gear and got her fishing camp ready. “This must be the right spot, Lord!” she said, as she began to saw a hole in the ice and drop in her line. But it was not to be. The booming voice interrupted her yet again…
”THERE ARE NO! FISH! IN THE ICE!”
…it emphatically said. This was the last straw, she jumped up and shook her fists in the air and shouted to the heavens, “LORD, WHERE SHALL I FISH?! I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU WANT ME TO GO!!”
”LADY…”
…the voice boomed…
”THIS IS AN ICE SKATING RINK. THERE ARE NO FISH IN THE ICE!!!”
Joke Poo: The Auditor’s Lament
A meticulous auditor was called in to investigate the finances of a failing circus. He arrived, clipboard in hand, ready to pore over every ledger and receipt. He found a quiet corner in the Big Top and began his work. Just as he was about to start reconciling the elephant feed costs, he heard a booming, theatrical voice echoing from the rafters:
“THERE IS NO PROFIT IN THE CIRCUS!”
Startled, he nearly jumped out of his skin. He looked around, but saw only trapeze artists warming up and clowns juggling rubber chickens. “Hello?” he called out, “Is someone there? Is that… the ringmaster?” No answer came. “It must be a metaphorical sign,” he muttered, thinking about creative accounting. He packed up his briefcase and moved to a different corner, near the lion tamer’s cage. Again, as he was about to analyze ticket sales, he heard the same dramatic voice from above:
“THERE IS NO PROFIT IN THE CIRCUS!”
This time he was less surprised, but still unnerved. “Okay,” he thought, “clearly someone wants me to know the truth.” He decided to take drastic action. He packed up his documents and ventured right into the center of the Big Top, directly under the spotlight. He set up his desk and announced, “Alright, Lord of the Circus! Show yourself! I’m ready to hear your accounting advice!” He began to scrutinize the clown’s expense reports when the booming voice interrupted him yet again…
“THERE! IS! NO! PROFIT! IN! THE! CIRCUS!”
This was the final straw. He slammed his fist on the table and shouted to the rafters, “WHO IS SAYING THAT?! WHERE IS THE PROBLEM?! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO AUDIT?!”
“SIR…”
…the voice boomed, tinged with exasperation…
“I AM THE VOICE-OVER GUY! THIS IS A PRACTICE RUN FOR THE SHOW! THERE IS NO PROFIT IN THE CIRCUS YET BECAUSE THE SHOW HASN’T STARTED!!!”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke!
Key Elements:
- Stereotype: Blonde = not the sharpest tool in the shed (classic, but can be problematic).
- Misunderstanding: The blonde misunderstands the “voice of God” and its message.
- Setting: Ice fishing (implying cold, potentially remote).
- Punchline: The “voice of God” is just informing her it’s an ice rink, not a frozen lake.
- Thematic Irony: She doesn’t need help locating the fish; she needs help identifying her location.
Now, for some comedic enrichment based on these elements:
1. Fact-Based Witty Observation:
“You know, the real miracle isn’t that the blonde thought God was talking to her about fishing. It’s that she managed to set up a whole fishing camp on an ice rink without anyone noticing. I mean, how big WAS that auger?”
2. New Joke – Playing on the stereotype and ice rink logistics:
A blonde is happily ice skating in a figure-8 formation on an ice rink, when a Zamboni operator yells out to her, “Hey! The rink’s closed for resurfacing!”
The blonde yells back, “Oh, don’t worry! I’m just practicing my figure-8’s, I’m almost done!”
The Zamboni operator sighs and says, “Lady, I’m not worried about your skating! I’m just telling you that Zambonis are 12-feet wide and can’t see people on the ice!”
3. “Did You Know?” with a Comedic Twist:
Did you know the largest indoor ice rink in North America is the BMO Centre in Calgary, Alberta? It’s so big, it’s rumoured that they occasionally have to rescue lost tourists who wandered in looking for the “real” Canadian wilderness. Occasionally from people fishing indoors.
4. Joke Re-write, focusing on a different stereotype:
A programmer goes ice fishing. He drills a hole, drops in his line, and immediately hears a voice: “Error 404: Fish Not Found.”
He moves to another spot, same thing. Finally, exasperated, he shouts, “Okay, system, where ARE the fish?”
The voice responds, “Segmentation Fault. Core Dumped. System Rebooting…This is an ice skating rink. There are no fish here, you idiot.”
Explanation of the Enrichment:
- The witty observation highlights the absurdity of the setup.
- The new joke repurposes the initial setup, but gives the blonde a different, but equally silly, misunderstanding. The stereotype becomes that she is self-absorbed, rather than dumb.
- The “Did You Know?” blends a real fact with a humorous exaggeration.
- The joke rewrite keeps the setup, but replaces the blonde with a stereotype of a programmer.
The goal is to take the original joke’s foundation and build upon it, adding new layers of humor by incorporating real-world knowledge and playing on other familiar tropes.