About two hours into my first shift, a loud, mean-looking woman stormed in with two kids, yelling obscenities at them the whole way.
As I’d been trained, I smiled and said cheerfully,
“Good morning and welcome to Walmart! Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
She snarled,
“Hell no, they ain’t twins! One’s 9, the other is 7. Are you blind or just stupid?!”
So I smiled and replied,
“Neither, ma’am. I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice.”
Joke Poo: Tech Support Burn
After landing my new job as a call center tech support agent – a common starting point for aspiring programmers – I lasted less than a week.
About three hours into my fifth day, a loud, frustrated user called in, screaming about their printer not working and insulting my intelligence constantly.
As I’d been trained, I took a deep breath and said calmly, “Good morning, thank you for calling Tech Support. Can you tell me the model number of your printer, please?”
She shrieked, “HP LaserJet 3055! And don’t you dare ask me if it’s plugged in! Are you even qualified to do this job?!”
So I replied, “Neither, ma’am. I just couldn’t believe anyone bought that piece of junk twice.”
Alright, let’s dissect this Walmart greeter joke!
Key Elements:
- Setup: New job, Walmart greeter, retiree-friendly. Establishes a setting and expectation of politeness/amiability.
- Conflict: Rude, aggressive customer with ill-behaved children. Shatters the expected pleasant encounter.
- Misdirection: The greeter initially follows training, offering a polite greeting and observation.
- Punchline: The greeter delivers an incredibly impolite, insulting comeback, contrasting sharply with the initial politeness and flipping the power dynamic. The core of the punchline relies on the double entendre of implying the woman is sexually undesirable, as well as suggesting only someone particularly desperate would sleep with her, and that twice.
Humor Analysis:
- Situational Irony: The inherent irony is the juxtaposition of the greeter’s job requirement (politeness) with the complete lack of it in the response.
- Surprise: The punchline is unexpected, a sharp turn from the initial innocent observation.
- Aggression/Shock Value: The joke’s humor stems partly from the audacity and insult of the comeback. It violates social norms.
- Relatability (for some): Some people may find cathartic release in the greeter’s response, even if they would never say it themselves.
Now, let’s enrich this with some factual tidbits and generate new humor:
Interesting Fact:
Walmart’s greeter program used to be a significant part of their brand identity, often employing seniors. However, in recent years, the role has evolved and sometimes been eliminated in favor of “customer hosts” with broader responsibilities, leading to some controversy regarding potential ageism.
New Joke/Observation:
Why did the Walmart greeter get replaced by a self-checkout machine? Because HR said, “We need someone who can greet customers without accidentally starting World War III.”
Elaboration on the Original Joke’s Theme (Witty Observation):
The real problem with being a Walmart greeter isn’t the people who are rude, it’s the people who are so mind-numbingly average that your brain starts composing haikus about the existential dread of canned green beans.
New “Did You Know” that plays off the punchline:
Did you know that statistically, the average person spends 12 minutes a year just thinking about whether they should have said something snarky to a rude customer? I’m guessing that Walmart greeter from the joke burned through his entire lifetime quota in one sentence.
New Joke inspired by the original:
I saw a sign at a daycare: “We teach your kids to be polite, even if you don’t.” I thought, that’s basically training to be a Walmart greeter, isn’t it? Except Walmart pays less. And the customers bite harder.
The goal is to amplify the humor by layering in interesting facts, relatable observations, or escalating the core concept (rudeness, customer service stress, etc.).