There was once a beautiful young girl… and after an unfortunate accident, she lost her right eye. Her family was poor and couldn't afford a glass eye, but luckily her grandfather was a skilled woodworker, and he carved her a wooden eye, and painted it to match her good eye. It looked OK from a distance.
Naturally, this left this once-proud girl with some feelings of insecurity, but her friends finally convinced her to go the the school dance. She was too nervous to approach any of the boys, but one of her friends pointed out a handsome kid, lingering shyly in the shadows. The poor kid was born with a clubfoot, and though he was pretty good looking, his mild deformity left him shy and insecure.
The DJ chose a slow and romantic song, and after much enthusiastic nudging from her friends, she called up the nerve to approach the boy. She shyly said, "would you like to dance with me?"
He couldn't believe it – a beautiful girl, asking him to dance! He shouted "Would I? Would I!!"
And the girl screamed back at him, "CLUB FOOT ! CLUB FOOT!"
Joke Poo: The CEO with the Voice-Activated Desk
A powerful CEO was known for his cutthroat business tactics. Unfortunately, a freak accident involving a malfunctioning laser pointer left him voiceless. His company was hemorrhaging money on experimental cures, but nothing worked. Luckily, his quirky engineering team developed a state-of-the-art, voice-activated desk. It responded to spoken commands, allowing him to manage his empire once more.
Naturally, the CEO felt incredibly self-conscious about his inability to speak, but his board finally convinced him to attend the annual company gala. He was too nervous to approach any of the potential investors, but one of his executives pointed out a reclusive tech billionaire, standing awkwardly by the champagne fountain. The billionaire had been born with a severe stammer, and though he was brilliant, his speech impediment left him shy and withdrawn.
The band started playing a lively dance tune, and after much enthusiastic encouragement from his executive, the CEO gathered the courage to approach the billionaire. He frantically typed on his desk, “Would you like to invest in my company?” The desk’s synthesized voice boomed out the question.
The billionaire couldn’t believe it – a CEO he admired, asking him to invest! He excitedly sputtered, “W-w-w-w-would I? W-w-w-w-would I!!”
And the desk boomed back at him, “STUTTERING PRICK! STUTTERING PRICK!”
Alright, let’s break down this joke.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: We establish a beautiful girl with a wooden eye due to poverty and an accident, and a similarly insecure boy with a clubfoot. Both are initially shy due to their imperfections.
- Premise: The girl summons her courage to ask the boy to dance, overcoming her insecurity.
- Punchline: The boy’s enthusiastic “Would I? Would I!!” is misinterpreted by the girl as mockery about her wooden eye, leading to her cruel retort about his club foot, a twisted mirroring of his enthusiastic response.
- Humor Source: The humor stems from misunderstanding, irony, and schadenfreude (finding humor in someone else’s misfortune). The shock value of the girl’s unexpected and vicious response also contributes.
- Key Elements: Physical imperfections, insecurity, misunderstanding, irony, surprise.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the “wooden eye” aspect and work from there.
Fact-based Angle:
Did you know the history of prosthetic eyes is quite fascinating? While modern prosthetic eyes are often made of acrylic or glass, the earliest known examples date back to ancient Egypt and were made from materials like enamel, precious stones, and even cloth. So, while a wooden eye might seem primitive, it’s actually part of a long and evolving tradition of ocular prosthetics.
New Observation/Joke Idea:
A woman walks into a novelty store and asks for a pirate costume for Halloween.
The sales assistant helpfully guides her toward a selection of eye patches.
“Oh, I don’t need an eye patch,” she replies, “I’ve already got a wooden eye.”
“Oh that’s… environmentally friendly,” the assistant stammers.
“Well it would be,” she quips, “If my grandfather hadn’t made it out of mahogany.”
Enhancing the Original Joke:
Let’s re-imagine the punchline, leaning into the historical and more technical aspects of prosthetics:
“Would I? Would I!!” the boy exclaimed, his heart soaring.
“WELL, WOULD YOU WHAT?” she snapped, “POINT AND LAUGH AT MY HAND-CARVED, PRE-ACRYLIC ERA, OCULAR SUBSTITUTE?! JUST BECAUSE IT’S NOT A PERFECT MATCH TO MY NATURAL IRIS?! GO BACK TO THE LIBRARY, YOU MISUNDERSTOOD MITTEN-FOOTED MONSTER!”
Why this is funnier (or tries to be):
- The updated punchline is now over-the-top and nonsensical and also leverages the history of prosthetics.
- It adds another layer of absurdity.
- Replaces “club foot” with “mitten-footed monster”, making it more absurd.