A man was traveling through Florida when he saw signs for a "Gator Show – Next Stop". Intrigued, the man takes the next exit and finds a small, outdoor venue with bleachers filled with spectators sat in row-styled seating arranged around a swamp. The man buys a ticket and takes a seat, just as the show is starting.
The old fashioned PA system clicks on, and a voice announces "and now, without further ado, the Gator King" and a burly, bearded fellow in overalls steps out with a microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to today's show. Please remember, Gators are wild animals, do not try any of this at home."
With that, the Gator King throws out a large steak at the edge of the swamp and the biggest alligator the man has ever seen crawls up out of the swamp to eat the steak. In a flash, the Gator King closes the distance between himself and the giant alligator, and slaps him on the snout. The alligator snaps his jaws, then comes to rest with his mouth open, an the Gator King places his whole meaty fist in the alligator's mouth.
There are some murmurs and applause from the audience. The Gator King then balls his hands into fists, and begins punching the alligator repeatedly right in the snout. The alligator snaps his jaws and twists around ferociously, but then settles down and opens his mouth again. This time, the Gator King grips the alligator's jaws and places his entire head in the alligator's mouth, letting the alligator's teeth rest against his thick neck. This time the applause are more lively and there are some cheers and hollers.
Then, the Gator King takes several steps back, and charges forward, kicking the alligator square in the snout with all of his might. The alligator thrashes and snaps in a fierce display of unbridled anger, but finally settles down and opens his jaw once again. This time, the Gator King pulls down his pants, and slides his girthy penis entirely into the alligators open maw.
The applause thunder as members of the audience give the Gator King a standing ovation. The Gator King addresses the audience, "all right, for my next trick, I'm gonna need a volunteer." The man quickly hops up raising his hand and begins walking towards the stage. "Looks like we have one brave soul in the audience tonight," says the Gator King, "and what is your name?" The man takes the microphone and says, "Oh, I'm Bob, and I'm happy to volunteer, but could you just not kick me as hard?"
Joke Poo: Poodle Parlor
A woman was driving through Beverly Hills when she saw a sign for a “Poodle Parlor – Next Right”. Intrigued, she took the next right and found a small, upscale salon filled with impeccably groomed poodles and their owners. She bought a walk-in appointment and took a seat as the poodle stylist began his work.
The receptionist piped up, “And now, without further ado, the Poodle Prince!” A slender, impeccably dressed man with a perfectly coiffed pompadour glided out with a pair of grooming shears. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to today’s session. Please remember, these poodles are precious and delicate. Do not attempt any of this at home.”
With that, the Poodle Prince sprayed a fluffy white poodle with lavender-scented mist and gently brushed its fur. Then, in a flash, he grabbed the poodle and shaved a perfect heart-shaped design into its flank. The poodle yipped softly, and the audience clapped politely.
The Poodle Prince then carefully trimmed the poodle’s fur around its eyes with tiny, curved scissors. The poodle twitched a little, but he managed to create a stunning, avant-garde look, and the applause grew louder.
Then, the Poodle Prince took several steps back, grabbed a can of glitter spray, and doused the poodle in a dazzling, iridescent shimmer. The poodle shook itself vigorously, sending a cloud of glitter into the air, but finally calmed down.
The applause thundered as the audience gave the Poodle Prince a standing ovation. The Poodle Prince addressed the audience, “Alright, for my next act, I’m going to need a volunteer Poodle.” The woman quickly hopped up, leading her scraggly mutt into the salon. “Looks like we have one brave mutt in the house tonight,” said the Poodle Prince, “and what is your name?” The woman takes the microphone and says, “Oh, this is Sparky, and I’m happy to volunteer him, but could you go a little easy on the glitter, he’s allergic?”
Alright, let’s analyze this joke about the “Gator King” and his…unconventional performance.
Joke Breakdown:
- Setup: A tourist is drawn to a “Gator Show” in Florida. The scene is set with the “Gator King,” a burly character, performing increasingly bizarre stunts with a large alligator.
- Escalation: The stunts escalate from slapping the alligator, to putting his fist and head in its mouth, and culminating in… well, a very specific and unexpected interaction.
- Punchline: The tourist volunteers but asks the “Gator King” not to kick him as hard, implying he’s only volunteering for the final stunt.
Key Elements:
- Florida Stereotype: Florida is often associated with bizarre and outlandish occurrences.
- Alligators: Alligators are dangerous animals, making the “Gator King’s” actions inherently absurd.
- The Absurdity of the Stunt: The final stunt is so shocking and unexpected that it becomes the core of the joke.
- Misunderstanding: The tourist focuses on the physicality of the stunt, rather than the act itself.
Comedic Enrichment:
Here’s a “Did You Know?” style observation, that aims to be amusingly disturbing, like the original joke:
“Did you know that an alligator’s bite force is estimated to be around 2,125 PSI (pounds per square inch)? That’s enough to crush a bowling ball. Ironically, despite this incredible power, the muscles that open an alligator’s jaws are relatively weak – a human can hold them shut with their bare hands. Which, come to think of it, makes the Gator King’s request for a volunteer even stranger. He could have just held the alligator’s mouth shut!”
Why this works:
- It starts with a genuine fact about alligators.
- It highlights the incongruity of the joke’s scenario, further emphasizing the absurdity.
- It subverts expectations. You think it’s going to be about the danger of the bite force, but it pivots to the easily-overlooked weakness.
- It leans into the unsettling nature of the joke, much like the original does.
This approach adds a layer to the original joke without simply repeating it. It provides a morbidly fascinating and slightly disturbing (like the original) tidbit that amplifies the punchline’s absurdity.