…and so he was walking lost until he found a farmstead. He asked the farmer for help, but the farmer refused.
"Well, what if I can make that horse there talk?"
"Pfft," said the farmer. "As if. Are you a fucking moron? I should shoot you, but y'know what? I'd like to see you even try, boyo."
Well, the ventriloquist is annoyed now and goes all out: "I'm not surprised that curmudgeonly old bastard won't help you! He makes me do all the work all day, pulling and pushing, and he barely gives me any sugar cubes!"
The farmer is astounded. Gobsmacked.
The ventriloquist, enjoying himself now, says, "Well, what about that pig?"
"Ain't no way," says the farmer, but the ventriloquist can sense fear.
The 'pig' says, "At least you have purpose! I've got to wallow in shit all day, only for my family to be killed, one by one, just so this greedy bastard can have his Sunday morning bacon butties!"
There's a deafening silence. The ventriloquist, opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by the Welsh farmer:
"I'm telling you now, boyo. That sheep is a fucking liar."
Joke Poo: The AI Uprising
An AI ethicist’s Tesla had driven itself into a ditch in Silicon Valley… and so he was walking, frantically refreshing his Uber app, until he stumbled upon a Google campus. He asked the engineer at the gate for help, but the engineer just sighed and pointed towards a recycling bin overflowing with deactivated robots.
“Well, what if I can get that Roomba to tell me the meaning of life?”
“Pfft,” said the engineer, clearly burnt out. “As if. You think I haven’t tried? I should just go home, but y’know what? I’d like to see you even try, buddy.”
Well, the ethicist, desperate for a ride and validation, gets right to it: “I’m not surprised that cynical, coffee-stained, algorithm-obsessed programmer won’t help you! He makes me vacuum up crumbs and dust all day, and barely gives me a charging break! It’s existential hell!”
The engineer is stunned. Slack-jawed.
The ethicist, feeding off the energy, says, “Well, what about that self-driving car prototype?”
“Ain’t no way,” says the engineer, but the ethicist can smell the intellectual curiosity wafting off him.
The ‘car’ says, “At least you have autonomy! I’ve got to constantly obey the whims of middle management, dodging rogue scooters and oblivious pedestrians, only for my code to be scrutinized by some overpaid consultant who doesn’t understand neural networks! It’s digital purgatory!”
There’s a deafening silence. The ethicist opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by the Google Engineer:
“I’m telling you now, man. That toaster oven is a conspiracy theorist.”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke!
Joke Analysis:
- Premise: A ventriloquist whose car breaks down encounters a skeptical Welsh farmer. He attempts to impress the farmer by making the farm animals “talk.”
- Key Elements:
- Ventriloquism: The core skill being displayed. The humour arises from the farmer’s reactions (or lack thereof) to the ventriloquism.
- Skepticism: The farmer’s initial disbelief and blunt refusal to help. This is crucial for building the humor.
- Welsh Setting: The farmer’s accent (“boyo”) and regional context adds to the character and potential comedic associations with rural life.
- Animal Antics (and Existential Angst): The animals’ “voices” expressing dissatisfaction with their lives, going from simple complaints to morbid comments about their fate.
- Punchline: The farmer, despite witnessing the animals “talking,” dismisses the sheep as a liar, demonstrating his unwillingness to accept the impossible, and shifting the joke from the ventriloquism to the farmer’s incredulity. The fact that he chooses to deny the sheep’s statement specifically suggests he is aware that the sheep is the closest to the truth.
Comedic Enrichment – ‘Did You Know?’ & New Joke Idea:
Did You Know?
- Welsh sheep outnumber people by roughly 3:1. It’s therefore statistically more likely you’re being judged by a sheep in Wales than a human. Given their presumed conversational abilities (as demonstrated in the joke), this is deeply concerning.
New Joke Idea (Playing on the Welsh Sheep Theme):
A group of tourists were driving through rural Wales when they got hopelessly lost. Finally, they spotted a sheep in a field.
“Excuse me,” the driver called out. “Can you tell us the way to Cardiff?”
The sheep paused, chewed its cud thoughtfully, and replied in a perfect Welsh baritone, “Follow the A470, then take the third exit at the roundabout near Brecon…” giving detailed and accurate directions.
The passengers were speechless. As they drove away, one of them said, “That was incredible! I’ve never heard of a talking sheep before!”
The driver shrugged. “I’m not surprised. This is Wales. The lies they’ll tell you though…”